You Can Do It!

Take a moment today to think about this, who in your life talks YOU out of more things than anyone else? Is it your spouse or significant other? Your parents? Your Boss? Your Friends? If YOU are like most people out there the answer is most likely YOU…YOU talk yourself out of most of your choices.

We all have that “inner voice” that has opinions on everything we do. That inner voice has its own perspective on YOU as a person, and is acutely aware of your limitations and shortcomings. Every time YOU attempt to step out of your box, to try something new and challenging, that inner voice starts in on YOU. …“YOU can never do that”..”It’s not worth it” …”What if YOU fail?”

Well, that inner voice is wrong. YOU can do it if YOU set your mind to it, no matter what has happened in the past. In fact, your biggest obstacle is convincing yourself that YOU can. The first step in doing that is to acknowledge that the “inner voice” exists, and then take steps to counteract it.

The inner voice will always be there. YOU can’t get rid of it. But YOU can keep it from dominating your thoughts and actions by supplying yourself with plenty of positive input.

Get yourself around positive, future-oriented people. Read books, listen to positive messages, talk back to the voice and say, “Yes I can!” Dwell on the possibilities, not the risks. Model the behavior of successful people YOU see in your life. Take action toward your goals. Remind yourself of your accomplishments and of the challenges YOU have overcome in the past. Write down your goals and review them at least once a day. Find your purpose in life keep yourself focused on it.

YOU can accomplish great things if YOU will just let yourself do it. I believe in YOU!




Persist, and one small effort builds upon another. Persist, and time works in your favor.

Persist, and what was once impossible becomes commonplace. Persist, and what was once out of reach will come to YOU in remarkable abundance.

Persist when events turn against YOU, and YOU will steadily put things back in your favor. Persist when there’s every reason to stop going, and the rewards will be even bigger than YOU can imagine.

Where YOU start matters not much at all. How much YOU persist is what makes the real difference.

To persist YOU don’t need any special skill or knowledge. The main thing it takes is desire.

YOU can persist when there’s reason enough. And somewhere in your life, YOU know right now, is that reason.

Disappointment Into Determination!

It occasionally happens that YOU become disappointed in yourself.  When that occurs, choose to transform that disappointment into determination.

Many times YOU will become disappointed by the words or actions of others.  At such times, YOU can take the power of that disappointment and transform it into effective, purposeful determination.

Experiencing the shortfalls in life can actually give YOU increased positive energy to create real improvements. YOU have the opportunity to take a bad thing and transform it into a good thing.

Disappointment is powerful because it commands your attention, and focuses your thoughts on what YOU envision for life. When YOU feel that happening, what you’re feeling is the chance to make a positive change in your approach.

So go ahead, and feel the legitimate disappointment, but don’t let it disappoint YOU for long. Know right away that YOU can let it inspire YOU, motivate YOU, and create an unstoppable determination.

Grab the opportunity that disappointment brings. Feel, in a new and powerful way, your desire to move forward, and put the energy of that feeling immediately to work.


You Deserve It!


YOU deserve it! That’s right my friend…YOU. Nobody deserves to succeed more than YOU. No one deserves to be happy and fulfilled more than YOU.

YOU are just as worthy and deserving as anyone I know. But, being worthy and deserving is not enough. It is totally up to YOU to live the life YOU deserve. It is up to YOU to set the goals, develop the plans and take the actions which will bring the success YOU deserve.

Sorry but no one can do it for YOU…YOU must take the initiative to fulfill your own incredible potential. YOU deserve it…And YOU can make it happen.

Sure, it’s easy to listen to those weak minded, negative people who say YOU are undeserving. And it would be easy to listen to those who promise YOU something for nothing. But they are all wrong! No matter who YOU are, YOU can and YOU must make your own effort to live your own possibilities. No one can hold YOU back and no one can do it for YOU!

The world is filled with opportunity for YOU…Make today the day YOU grab it and run with it. YOU my friend deserve the very best and YOU are the only one who can make sure YOU get it!

Keep Going!

When you have a long way to go, keep going. When you’ve almost reached the goal, keep going.

Success is achieved by those who simply do whatever it takes to keep going. All it ever takes, is taking the next step.

When you’re frustrated, make note of your frustration and keep going. When you’re tired and weary, take time out for a little rest, and then keep going.

The real joy is in the journey, so give yourself the joy of making that journey. Pick yourself up, again and again, and keep going.

You know full well that you can do it, so do it. Remind yourself why you’ve chosen to get there, and keep going.

You are a bundle of beautiful and unique possibilities. Keep going, and bring the best of them to life.

Find Your Courage!


Countless possibilities swarm around you, every minute, every day. Live with the courage, the confidence, to choose.

The best possibilities are useless if you do not make the choice to follow them.

The best opportunities have value only when you choose to act on them.

You cannot do everything, and wouldn’t want to. However, you can do what you choose.

To do that, you must make a choice, and commit to that choice, and act on that choice. Choose a possibility to explore, an opportunity to take, a path to follow.

No choice is going to be perfect, but don’t let that deter you. Because once you make the choice, you have what it takes to make the best of that choice.

The right choice is the one that enables you to give your best. Make the choice, and use it as a way to create great value for your world.

Find Your Courage!

Signs That You Are Your Parents Least Favorite Child.

When you visit your parents’ home, you can’t help but notice your old bedroom has been converted into a  “Hobby Room” while your sibling’s bedrooms remain perfectly intact…Almost like shrines to them.

Your parents really don’t mind that you plan on never having children of your own, in fact they encourage you not to have any, all the while they keep asking your sibling’s when they are going to make them Grandparent’s.

You can’t make it to Thanksgiving, and your Mom sends you photos of the great time everyone is having without you…They all seem oddly elated.

After an eye-opening conversation with your friends one night, you learn that it is not customary for the oldest sibling to get the hand-me-downs.

Your parents call you once every three months to make sure you are still alive, while discussing at length your sister’s new book deal and your brother’s new car. Your life as a community organizer just doesn’t make the cut.

Your parent’s have renamed you without your knowledge or consent…You think you might now be named Horace…But you don’t know for sure because you have to wait two more month’s for their phone call.

Your parent’s visit you once every couple of years and while there, they spend most of their time on Facebook admiring photos of your sibling’s.

Your parent’s ask you why your husband isn’t “providing” like your sisters husband is…You have to remind them that you are not married and are a straight male.

You got a promotion, your parent’s jump on Facebook to swiftly congratulate you before writing a sonnet about all the features of your brother’s new car.

During one drunken night with your Dad, he tearfully confesses that he sold your gaming system when you were eight so that your brother could take a summer writing class at the youth center.  He had so much promise, and anyway, you couldn’t get past the first level on Mario.

You receive a birthday card and it reads:


Hope you are having a terrific birthday. We were so excited when you came into the world and remember the day like it was yesterday.


Mom and Dad

(This is conformation that your new name is actually “Horace” and your birthday isn’t for another four months.)

You finally decide to leave Facebook all together because you are sick of watching your parents salivate over your sister’s new book deal and your brother’s new car. Your parent’s immediately call you concerned that you are about to kill yourself, because to them, leaving Facebook is synonymous with death. After convincing them that you are not spiraling into a black pit of despair, they make sure you know that you are loved, regardless of how uninteresting you are.

Dear Twitter Trolls…You Win!


Dear Twitter Trolls,

Good For You!  Congratulations, You did it! You succeeded! Your irrational screaming via caps lock, profanity-ridden diatribe hurled at me on an article I tagged a friend in really helped me figure out that I was in the wrong. You were right.

But you aren’t alone, there are many, thousands of you, lurking in every corner of the Internet primed and ready to fight everything that you possibly can. Your exchanges between others who are also lurking, but are usually there for enjoyment, are greatly appreciated. It is especially liked when you pull random items together to try and insult people, for example:  “Kittens? Who the fuck likes kittens? Probably the same assholes who enjoy eating crackers and drinking juice for an afternoon snack. MORONS!”

I don’t believe all the people who are like that are actually bridge dwellers, like they are so aptly named, but I do believe that they could probably use a hug. Maybe some crackers and juice to help ease the inner turmoil in their tummy. Yet they continue on their crusade to berate and undermine anyone with a different opinion.

Now, make no mistake about it, if I’m in the wrong and you have facts to prove it, I appreciate it being pointed out to me. A blow to the ego is better than living ignorantly. However, if I comment on a post about putting peanut butter on the bread first or jelly, and I write peanut butter, there is no reason for you to tell me that I am what is wrong with our country. That it is my generation and the way we think, act, and spend that is the downfall for humanity. Did you hear me?! If only I decided to put jelly first then I wouldn’t be responsible for all of the wrong in the world.

If on a fun post that asks who was my first celebrity crush, when I answer Farrah Fawcett, maybe don’t attack me about conspiracy theories, and which country is colluding with which that day. Now is not the time nor place. Let my love for Farrah Fawcett remain as pure as the driven snow. I don’t need your car tires dragging tracks of shit through it. I will not click on the link you reply with that talks about how (insert: whoever is currently hated the most in the country on any given day) was actually at the helm of the Mayflower and IF I WOULD JUST OPEN MY EYES I could see it; but, alas, my eyes will remain shut to your rant. They will stay focused on Farrah’s ice blue eyes and a time when life was lived more easily, with less people telling you every idea you have is wrong because it does not agree with their beliefs.

You keep trucking on though, dude, and keep replying. Someone, somewhere out there will be persuaded when you call them worthless because they believe in stupid things like science and proven data. They will click on the link to your blog where they can read every entry you make all the way from the Mayflower post right down to the list of items and ideas you have deemed acceptable. You will make a difference. You will convince someone that you’re screaming at on an unrelated topic that, oh shit, their entire life is a lie and all it took was someone on the Internet with no friends or pictures to make them realize that they don’t know anything. It will be a sad day for them, but it will be the victory you have been striving for since you made your first fake account on some Internet forum with the intent of just being a ladle to stir a shit pot. Here is your shiny, Internet medal. You did it! You won!



If You Underestimate Me You Will End Up Like The Elk…Murdered!

As I get older and perhaps less threatening looking I really feel like people tend to underestimate me and lately all I have been doing is proving them wrong…I truly am a Bad Ass MoFo!

For example, do you see that thing over there next to my coach, that brownish looking thing covered in cat hair…

No…Not that one

Yes…that’s the one

Well, I totally licked that thing yesterday

I truly am a Bad Ass MoFo!

What? I swear to God I will come over there and spank you on the ass Sir!..I swear I will!

Why did I lick it? Because at the time it reminded me of a field trip I took in the 6th grade, I was sitting on my couch naked watching re-runs of Friends and I saw that thing and had a flashback to that field trip I took…It made me feel a bit nostalgic.

You know what happened to the last person who underestimated me? His name was Chris, and he used to pick on me in elementary school. One time he tried copying the answers off my test, and when I told him to stop he stabbed me in the arm with a pencil. At the time I played it cool. I didn’t retaliate. I left him to his own devices so he could live his life in blissful ignorance; unaware of the fact I was meticulously plotting my revenge.

Then, about twenty years later I saw him. I walked right up to him and stabbed him in the shoulder with a pen. “REMEMBER ME CHRIS?!?!”  I screamed as I stabbed him over and over until his family and a few pallbearers pulled me away from his casket.

That’s how I roll, baby.

Look at me for Christ sake!  At first glance you wouldn’t think I’m a generous, caring lover would you?  But, don’t underestimate me my friend. I am known across five continents for my prowess in carnal ingenuity. I have absolutely no problem getting ladies in the sack. Seriously, you should come to my house sometime and see all the sacks full of ladies I have.

One night while attending an orgy in the Congo I came across a tribe of Pygmies called The Hillarioo Clintosees and over the course of the evening I befriended their chief. Her name was Chelsea, and we became very close. In each other we found kindred spirits, and even though we didn’t speak each other’s language we somehow connected psychically. She grabbed me by the hand and brought me across a beautiful field of grass. There was something familiar about it to me. It reminded me of home, and as I stood there naked under the starlit sky I began to feel a bit nostalgic.

But soon my comfort turned to fear when I realized why they brought me there. Chelsea took her club and pointed it to the sky at a gigantic yellow monster. I turned to face the gentle Pygmies, and I realized that these people were counting on me to save their village.

“I CAN’T DO THIS! I’M NOT A HERO!”  I screamed, but then I turned around and looked into the eyes of a tribe of adorable, hairless little Pygmies who believed in me. I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I dropped to my knees and started weeping because they saw a hero in me when I couldn’t even see one in myself. I had underestimated myself my entire life up until that point, but now the time had come for me to be the hero I was always destined to be.

I took the club from Chelsea and charged at the monster as fast as I could. I started beating it with the club until I grew sore and my legs couldn’t carry me, but eventually I subdued the monster with sheer determination, and the undeniable strength of the human spirit.

As the Hilarioo Clintosees swarmed me to celebrate, the mescaline started wearing off, and I slowly started coming to the realization that I wasn’t really in the Congo at all. I was in Helena the whole time, being escorted out of Walmart by security.

All I’m trying to say is that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. Just because somebody looks a certain way doesn’t mean they are that way.

Consider the elk.  The elk roams majestically across the plains and hills of Montana. The elk doesn’t concern itself with what others think. It doesn’t care about motive, or its place in the world.

And this is what makes the elk so easy to murder.

The elk underestimates.

What I Learned This Halloween…Trick or Treaters Who Are Clearly Too Damn Old To Be Trick or Treating!


If a Trick or Treater does any of the following they are clearly too old to be Trick or Treating:


  1. They are carrying high-end Gucci Trick or Treat bags


  1. They are carrying signs that say“Fuck Trump”and

“Snowden Is A Hero”  then they begin protesting on

your front lawn.


  1. They are smoking a cigarette and have facial hair.


  1. They are driving a nicer car than you own.


  1. They try to sell you Herbalife products.


  1. They are dressed like Bill and Hillary Clinton, but it’s

actually Bill and Hillary Clinton.


  1. They ask if you have a drive-thru.


  1. They ask if you want to be in a movie, dressed as Harvey



  1. They are dressed like hookers, then they tell you their



  1. They ask if you have any beer.