Dear Wrist Straps That Are Not In My Gym Bag,
Alright, I really have had it this time. Wrist Straps That Are Not In My Gym Bag, we need to talk. Why has this happened yet again? We have gone through this several times now, I honestly thought things would change due to the heated exchange we had last time this happened. I really thought you were going to start being more responsible. Do you have any idea how it makes me feel when I get to the gym, get myself dressed for action and then I find out my straps are missing? It’s pretty damn embarrassing. Everyone else has their straps, except for me. I look like a goddamn tourist! Other lifters look at my bare wrists and laugh at me, and it’s all because you aren’t responsible enough to show up.
And don’t even try to turn this around on me. How dare you tell me I am forgetful! That’s bullshit and you know it. I always put you back in my gym bag, always! Let’s see everyone else always seems to be in the gym bag…Ear buds, Lock, Extra Tank Top, Headband. But not the wrist straps, no the wrist straps somehow couldn’t make it to the gym today.
Where were you? What was more important than showing up to the gym today?…Tell me!!
I remember when I first saw you in the store, you were new, full of promise. You came into my life at an important juncture, I was adding heavier and heavier weight, I was going full Beast Mode in the gym and you were there to help me. At first everything was great, we were a team, we were working hand and wrist, and nothing could stop us. But like any team, it’s only as strong as its weakest member. Guess what, that weakest member is you!
Well in the three weeks that we have been together, ever since that day I brought you home from Bob’s Sporting Goods with so much hope for future big lifts it’s just been a downward spiral of disappointment. I really thought we had something special, something different, I guess I was wrong.
Wrist Straps you are dead to me….
Your Former Swole Mate