It’s so annoying when I’m all nice and warm, sleeping soundly, then get the urgent urge to go Pee.
I’m lying there… All happy and comfortable like a little newborn nestling in his blankies, but unlike a newborn I don’t wear diapers…at least not yet, so when nature calls…it keeps calling…and calling, like a half-crazed debt collector.
So I’m always faced with the same dilemma…Do I get up and go use the potty then have to climb back into bed and try to get comfortable again…Or do I just stay there and risk letting the flood gates open?
As I lay there trying to make my decision I start to fall back to sleep…In my head the song “Don’t worry be Happy” is playing…Except it’s called “Don’t worry Pee Happy” and I feel myself letting go…If you know what I mean.
Luckily I wake up right before I’m about to christen the sheets with my not so Holy Water…I already know how my Cat feels about me touching her with wet hands, so I know she will freak out if she is suddenly taking a bath.
If I do happen to “Spring a Leak” in the bed I will have to wash all the bedding, my clothes and my dignity…I think my memory foam mattress will also never forget the incident either as a wet spot of shame will always be there waiting for me.
Back to the diapers thing…I currently have great bladder control (Thank God) so I don’t “Need” diapers, but I was playing around with the idea of picking up some Depends for myself to sleep in…That way I could sleep through the night…Let loose if I need to and wake up to a clean and dry bed. But then I thought what if I died in my sleep, and they found me in diapers? Or if someone broke in during the night and I had to battle them to the death…I wouldn’t look very intimidating wearing a Depends?
I also toyed with the idea of a Catheter…But the thought of sticking a tube up my Pee hole just sounds painful…So I decided against it.
What’s a fella to do…Sometimes life can be tough, I think my best option is just to sleep right on the toilet itself…that way I don’t have to worry about anything…Well except maybe a sore neck and back…And maybe a ring around my ass from the toilet seat.
Why does life have to be so hard?