I Think That Kid Is Evil!



I will be the first to admit I really lucked out when it came to my three boys, they have all been such a delight to parent, of course they make mistakes just like everyone else but thankfully they are smart enough to learn from them and they work hard to make sure they don’t repeat them. They are and will always be my greatest joy and a source of profound pride.

But…Not all kids are as Awesome as mine and I’m not saying that just to be mean, it’s true, some kids regardless of how well you have tried to raise them they are just crappy little people. As parents when we hold our newborn infants, we dream of all the amazing things they will accomplish and all the joyous moments we will share together as one big happy family. Sadly, this parent’s dream is taken away from some deserving parents, through no real fault of their own, they are left only with the heartbreak of having a crappy kid.

I have been told that there is nothing more painful than having to live your life knowing your kid is a total pain in the ass. The misery inflicted upon the hapless parent when their young offspring seems to think they are the center of the known universe, I’ve had good friends that have endured this fate, a few of them have checked themselves into Psych. Wards just to escape their daily torment.

Every time I go into Walmart, I see the hollowed out faces of parents, who pray daily to be hit by a bus just to end the pain, no parent, not even the Parents of Walmart should have to watch as their demon seed goes nuclear in the toy aisle and begins throwing cheap Chinese toys at other shoppers. Or the humiliation of their child taking the cane from an old war hero and savagely beating the Axe body spray display with it…It’s an agony that no one who has brought a child into this world is mentally prepared for.

I wake up every day thankful that my kids are so well behaved and that they show respect to others. Then I hear stories from my friend about her evil little Ginger child, who likes to set insect’s on fire, using gasoline, while inside an abandoned home, well hopefully abandoned.  She knows it’s not her fault, she has done everything right, but it’s impossible for her not to blame herself, the rest of society blames her, perhaps society is right, it’s hard to know what to think as you watch your evil little Ginger child as she watches another house burn down.

I have another friend who is married to a psychologist, he tells me of the conversations they have regarding their youngest child, who by all accounts is Hitler reincarnated, they try to turn to each other for support, but find it tough not to blame each other for their little Hitler child. I once sat with them as they showed me an old family photos album, I could see the pain in their eyes as we stared at a picture of their youngest who was building a mini-concentration camp for his older siblings, they knew there was nothing they could do to change what I was looking at in the photo, I was looking at the face of evil.

I try my best to comfort my friends, sometimes it’s hard to know what to say. My kids aren’t evil little shits like theirs so the words simply escape me. I thankfully will never know the torment these parents endure, but I try to sympathize the best I can and once in a while when they foolishly ask me to watch their evil offspring for a few hours, I have a really hard time watching them cry, when I say  “HELL NO!”  But I’m sure they can’t blame me, after all their kid is nuts.

I hope if any good can come from me writing this, it’s that every parent that is reading it will cherish the time they have with the kids they have that aren’t evil little shits, because as all parents know it could end in an instant.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s