I Heard Something About You!

iheardsomethingaboutyou

 

Let me guess, you think this post is about you, don’t you?

 

I heard that you have every Nickelback song ever recorded on cassette tape.

I heard that you attend high school parties, even though you graduated 15 years ago.

I heard that you have a sex tape, but you aren’t in it.

I heard that you peaked in high school.

I heard that you were in a police chase on GTA 5.

I heard that you were on the Space Shuttle Challenger during its last flight in 1986.

I heard that you hit a deer with your van, brought it back to your apartment, skinned and gutted it in your shower.

I heard that you spread rumors about yourself.

I heard that you were there the day Reagan got shot.

I heard that you came out of a Mosque wearing an  “I love bacon”  t-shirt.

I heard that you write  “For a good time call”  and your phone number on bathroom stalls.

I heard that your parents are finally kicking you out of their basement.

I heard that you thought Michael Jordan was a better Baseball player than a Basketball player.

I heard that you were at Jonestown in 1978, mixing Kool-Aid.

I heard that you never wanted to be Thug Life, but Thug Life wanted you.

I heard that your beard has an STD.

I heard that you had sex with Kim Kardashian, but then again who hasn’t.

I heard that you were in the white ford bronco, going north on the 405.

I heard that you don’t eat anything but chicken because your vegan.

I heard that you BrokeBack Mountain was about you.

I heard that you are adopted, another PETA success story.

I heard that you lift.

I heard that your parents are brother and sister.

I heard that you  “streaked”  at your kid’s kindergarten graduation.

I heard that you were abducted by aliens and volunteered to be probed…twice.

I heard that you finally got your dream job at Goodwill Industries.

I heard that you joined ISIS, for the goats.

I heard that you are reading this right now, so it is probably about you!

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