Life…It’s Hilarious!



Well what are you going to do?  Nothing, because that’s Life.

Bad shit happens to good people, also bad shit happens to bad people too, but we don’t care because they deserved it. But regardless of who it happened to we move on.

Life can be a bitch sometimes, one day everything is fine at work and the next you get fired.  You buy a brand new Iphone, you decide not to buy the warranty this time and as soon as you get home you break your phone.  One day your wife is telling you how much she loves you and the next you hear her telling your brother the same thing.  Yep, Life can be a bitch.

Listen, I’m not trying to be all negative and shit, but you just need to face the facts, this thing we call  “Life”  well it’s pretty tough, you need to be stronger than it, otherwise you are toast.

Always remember crazy things happen and usually when you least expect it.  Like one minute you’re in the family room watching TV with your family and the next thing you know your Dad falls to the ground dead, your Mom gets up to go check on him but she trips over your foot, falls and hits her head on the end of the coffee table,  Yep, she’s dead too!  Then your brother starts to act like he is dying but he is totally faking it just to mess with you,  Yep, your brother is a dick!  But your parents are still dead.

So yeah, Life is hard and brutal at times.

I don’t think any of us will totally understand why Life behaves the way it does.  There never seems to be a rhyme or reason to it all.  You could be going to the mall with a group of friends and when you get there you see another group of friends there, they never invited you.  That’s why you called these back-up friends, now you are pissed because you look uncool with the back-up friends…You wonder why did this have to happen, you can’t explain it, nobody can!

And there are times when Life can be completely random, sometimes you never know where you will end up at the end of the day.  Perhaps you will join a rugby team.  Or maybe you will watch a rugby team play then start throwing rocks at them because you’re jealous and unstable. Or maybe you will start your own rugby team and then go play that other rugby team you saw earlier.  Or maybe rugby just isn’t your thing, perhaps you are more of a golfer, hell maybe you aren’t even human, maybe you’re just a dog with big dreams.

On a more positive note, the interesting thing about Life is that in Life nearly anything is possible. Let’s say you want to be a Doctor or a Veterinarian or maybe you want to go beat Justin Bieber’s head in with an axe handle. Perhaps you would rather beat Michael Moore’s head in with an axe handle. Today in the world we live in anything is possible, you can even beat the entire cast of Big Bang Theory’s heads in with an axe handle if you wanted. Some people may judge you for your actions, but that’s okay, that’s part of life too, so just ignore those haters and go beat anyone’s head in with an axe handle that you want to.

I personally wouldn’t recommend you beat anyone’s head in with an axe handle, I’m just saying the option is there.

Arnold Schwarzenegger once said  “Lifting weights is like having an orgasm”  I’m not sure where that fits in here but it just came to my mind…See that’s a great example of how random Life can be.

There are times when people come up to me and say  “Who the hell are you?”…”Why are you in my bathroom?”…”Why are you peeing in my sink?” And my answer is always the same…”Listen, Life is full of mysteries, there are some of which we will never get the answers we are looking for, but the answers to your questions could be chalked up to the fact I’m a mentally ill person.”

In this Life there are two types of people, there are Winners and there are Losers.  Some people know how to have a good time, they are in the gym, lifting heavy ass weights (Winners) and then there are some people who don’t work out, they just sit there smoking crack and eating sugary doughnuts, wearing three day old underwear (Losers).  Some people treat their bodies like a temple (Winners) and some treat their bodies like a dumpster behind McDonalds (Losers).  Some people are Winners (Winners) and some people are Losers (Losers).

Well if you take anything away from reading this I hope it’s this…One day this amazing roller coaster ride we call Life will come to an end.  That’s just a sad fact of Life.  So you can either choose to live this totally random and unpredictable but totally Kick-Ass thing called Life to the fullest or you can choose to live a Life full of regrets…I choose to live my Life with  “No Regrats”  not even a single letter baby!!

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