Now That’s Just Weird!

nowthatsjustweird

 

You walk into what seems like a deserted building, it’s very late at night and there is no one around to hear you scream. The elevator isn’t working so you are forced to take the stairs, as you open the door to the stairs it is eerily quiet, you feel alone, but are you alone? Just then you detect the faint odor of salami or maybe it’s Aqua Velva, you can’t be completely sure which it is…or if it’s either.

You find yourself completely captivated and then unexpectedly moved by David Hasselhoff singing a moving rendition of  “I did it my way.”

I small black feather slowly floats by your office window, but you neither see nor hear any birds.

You go into Target, you notice several items of clothing that have been on sale for months. Much longer than any truly legitimate sale period.

You make eye contact with a disheveled man and you know without a doubt that if things were different, let’s say if you and he were transported suddenly to Tombstone in the late 1800’s that he would without hesitation would kill you. This fact is something you have never been surer of than anything in your life.

You find yourself in a most difficult situation, nobody around you speaks the same language as you. But you desperately need some hand sanitizer…Urgently!

You can’t take your eyes off the front wheel of that abandoned, overturned bicycle, will it ever stop spinning?

Suddenly, for a split second, everything in your life starts to make sense…Then things go back to normal.

Your brother calls to remind you that you still owe him fourteen dollars from that bet you made with him in 1985. Or perhaps your brother calls you to say that your cousin that you have never met died in a tragic para-gliding accident, the authorities suspect foul play and then he goes on to remind you about that matter of fourteen dollars from 1985.

You just broke up with your ex, for the third time this year, now you are on a bender, you just took some Ecstasy and now you are staring a map of a city, maybe it’s Las Vegas, though it could be any large metropolis. As your heart begins to pound out of your chest you quickly become paranoid and afraid and very aware of your own insignificance in relation to everything, not least you are simply standing there and having terrible morbid thoughts. You suddenly think that if you died right there and then, of maybe a heart attack or cerebral hemorrhage, that nobody would know and that surely there is a novel buried somewhere in this train of thought. Only trouble is, while that may indeed be true, you are far from equipped to express it properly…Damn junkie!

Wait a minute, that time in the stairwell? It was definitely the smell of salami. But how it got there still remains a mystery.

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