I make it a point every day to try and do something nice for someone, it can be helping out a friend in need, sending a random text just to let someone know their Awesome, but usually giving people a compliment can bring a smile to their face and go a long way in brightening their day.
One thing I have noticed is that everyone takes a compliment differently, some people will turn it into an awkward situation, clearly they can’t handle a compliment, then there are those who seem to take a moment and bask in the radiant glow of the moment and then some like to return the favor with a compliment of their own.
Receiving compliments makes people feel good and can really play a role in how they feel about themselves. I know I like getting compliments, who doesn’t right? So I want to help people get this good feeling all the time, a way to receive more compliments in your day, and in turn build up yourself esteem.
So here is the plan I have come up with, it is easy to follow and in no time you should be receiving more compliments than you can handle. Sit down and make a list of all the relationships in your life and divide them into three categories: “I give him/her more compliments” “He/she gives me more compliments” and lastly the “Total Assholes” categories.
Your world can now be divided into Movie Stars, TV Stars and Porn Stars…If you give out more compliments to your friend then they give you, that means you’re “Dwayne Johnson” and your friend is “Vin Diesel.” And if you have a friend that only comes around when they need something well they are Porn Stars or some call them “Obama’s” cause he is screwing everyone over.
Another example would be if you always compliment the mailman for delivering the mail on time but he fails to compliment you, or your yard, or even your garden gnome, this means you’re the “Dwayne Johnson” and the mailman is “Vin Diesel” I will tell you right now these unequal relationships in your life need to change.
The key to making this compliment program work is to surround yourself with “Dwayne Johnson’s” who will do their best to fill every moment of your day with things like “Great Job Kiddo”…”Looking Good Today”…and “What a handsome bathrobe your wearing.”
You can’t waste any more of your life heaping praises on the “Vin Diesel’s” of this world, hoping for an occasional compliment crumb to fall from their mouth. You’re probably expecting me to recommend dropping every “Vin Diesel” from your life… I will not.
But allow me to suggest how you can subtly tip the scales of compliment justice in your favor and in turn help you turn the “Diesel’s” of your world into the “Johnson’s” you rightly deserve. The key is to create an unequal relationship by deflecting their rare and unsubstantial compliments with minuscule criticisms of yourself and then quickly giving them a small compliment in return, allowing the psychological balance of compliment power to slowly tip in your favor…I call this the “Johnson Effect.”
Here is an example of the “Johnson Effect”
“Hey Nate, Great Job out there today. You are a really good professional Hot Dog Eater. It really seems like you’re having a great year”…”I know everybody thinks my life is pretty perfect, but sometimes I forget to recycle and it makes me feel guilty. If we don’t recycle then the world might not be around to appreciate all my accomplishments twenty years from now. Why do I work so hard to achieve such incredible success if future generations won’t be around to admire it?”
If you noticed within my response, I alluded to everybody thinking my life was perfect and mentioned a slight fault.
Both of these elements will work in his (Vin Diesel) subconscious. He will be thinking “Is my friend’s life perfect? Am I the only one who didn’t realize that my friend is a major success? Is failure to recycle really the only thing my friend feels guilty about? Doesn’t my friend have other faults?”
Other insignificant faults could include…
I often give bad advice, often on purpose.
When I wrap gifts for my friends, the corners are never symmetrical looking.
I’m always misplacing my cat’s special blanket.
I’m a horrible whisperer.
I can never tell when Avocados or Mangoes are ripe.
After he (Vin Diesel) hears me say my life is almost perfect and I’ve mentioned a slight flaw, he may respond by assuring me the flaw isn’t significant.
“You shouldn’t beat yourself up about the recycling thing. You’ve got so many other things going on in your life to be excited about.” This will then be my opportunity to suggest he had been unfavorably comparing himself to me and then to give him an insignificant compliment. “Thanks, but you can’t go comparing yourself to me. Your time will come…probably. You can only be the best Nate (Vin Diesel) you can be. You and I are both good at different things. Whenever we go out, you always seem to pay the bill with exact change. How do you do it? I’m just not good at that kind of stuff like you are.”
Other insignificant accomplishments might include…
You rarely get cavities.
You are really good at remembering where you park.
You’re good at taking lots and lots of criticism.
You can always guess the speed we’re driving within 10 mph.
You’re shoes and belts always match.
There, in one short conversation I have suggested everyone thinks my life is perfect, mentioned an insignificant fault, alluded to him feeling his life is inadequate compared with mine, and given him a very small compliment as though this were the only good quality I could recognize in him. This interaction will continue to work on his weak subconscious and the balance of our relationship will slowly ebb in my favor. If you can execute two or three similar interactions every week, it won’t be long before he becomes the “Dwayne Johnson” I need, instead of the “Vin Diesel” I don’t.
You may have noticed I didn’t really touch on the subject of the “Porn Star” friend or as some call it the “Obama.” I feel this type of friend really doesn’t need to be addressed, just removed, and removed from your memory and from office.