Stop Putting Me Up On A Pedestal…I’m Just A Regular Guy


I think I’m just a normal, average guy. So please, just treat me the way you would anyone else, you don’t have to go out of your way to try and impress me.

Like everyone else, I put my pants on one massive leg at a time, perhaps just like you, but less massive of course, and my pants are pretty pricey as well, don’t forget that. And I usually only wear them once.

But again, I’m just a regular guy, the same as other men. I have regular guy issues, like paying bills, except my bills are for products and services which can only be found in high end stores and outlets.

Honestly, I’m just one of the guys, I have my guilty pleasures like everyone else. I often read those silly tabloid gossip magazines like Star, Enquirer, and People. I will admit I like to hear all the juicy tidbits about Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez, but only so I know what topics not to mention when we have dinner tonight.

But like I keep saying, I’m just a regular guy, I’m not any better than you. I probably like the same sports as you do. Just recently I watched the UFC fights where Meisha Tate beat Holly Holm, although I did get my drink spilled on me when Rhonda Rousey knocked it out of my hand when Tate choked out Holm, but she was pretty excited, but you can expect that kinda nonsense when you sit in the VIP section.

Again, I’m just a regular guy, I wait in line at the movies just like everyone else, although I’m in the VIP line, waiting for the 90-minute special directors cut of the new movie you guys will see it to when it comes out for regular people this summer.

But I am just a regular guy, and when I tell everyone that I’m the same as other men, I mean we’re all the same because we specifically all have that special XY sex chromosomes thing going on. But if we’re talking about something else like talents, looks, muscles, wit, smarts, humor, then I am not the same, and when it comes right down to the facts…I’m in fact, much, much better in those areas.

People Please…I am just a regular guy, I eat at the same restaurants as you do, except I come in through a private entrance, and if I find my private room too chilly the owner of the restaurant will bring me your coat.

I am just a regular guy, I’m not any more successful with the ladies than the next guy, and in making this comparison I’m assuming the next guy is also very, very successful with the ladies.

See me for what I am, just a regular guy. I suffer from regular aches and pains, except my headaches result from moving objects with my mind.

Can you please try and see me how I am, just a regular guy. My luck isn’t any better than yours. I’ve never won anything at a casino or a lottery or a drawing, mostly because I’m on the committee that decides whose going to win those things and selecting myself would be just bad form.

I am just a man…Don’t consider me any better, just because all the other people do, really…I’m just a regular guy!

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