Ways To Tell If Your New “Boyfriend/Girlfriend” Has Done Serious Prison Time

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They get a distant glazed over look in their eyes anytime they pass a highway work crew.

You notice their toothbrush looks an awful lot like a shiv.

 They have a toilet in the middle of their living room.

 Their idea of sweet talk is telling you how many packs of smokes it will cost you to have sex with them.

 They have a makeshift slot on the dinner table which they pass you food through.

 When you are out driving they can’t help but point out the lack of craftsmanship on other states licenses plates.

 They refer to the mall security guards as “Bulls”.

 You notice all their phone contacts are lawyers and bail bondsmen.

 Anytime you get into an argument they threaten to lawyer up.

 You go with them to meet their old roommate on visiting day.

 You never see them in clothing that doesn’t have black and white stripes.

 No matter what is going on it’s always “lights out” at 9 pm at their house.

 They keep referring to their bedroom as a “cell”.

 They call the landlord the “Warden”.

 All their exercise equipment is outside in the yard.

 They wear white socks and orange plastic sandals around the house.

 You are always catching them using small mirrors to check around corners.

 Their idea of arts and crafts is making weapons out of household items.

 They refer to wine as “hooch”.

 They prefer it if you refer to them by a seven digit number.

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