So roughly two months ago I had this crazy dream where I was this handsome Prince who was in charge of public works for a small kingdom and in this dream a stranger came to me, he looked a lot like Arnold Schwarzenegger did in the original “Conan The Barbarian” movie. Anyways this stranger told me I need to help the poor people in this underdeveloped country called Haiti. So when I woke up the next morning I knew I had just been given a message from a higher power that I need to help the poor and needy of another country, probably Haiti since Arnold mentioned that place.
So that very day I secretly started a Go Fund me page, I pretended I was a Missionary Nun named “Trinity” I even posted a fairly provocative photo of “Trinity” just to get more attention. My goal was to open a gym for the people of Haiti, I think Arnold would have wanted that. I also mentioned something about feeding people and all that. I set a monetary goal of $100,000 on my Go Fund me page. There were lots of people who told me, actually they told “Trinity” that it couldn’t be done, some people even doubted that I was a Nun, they thought I was a prostitute. Well apparently the people who told me it couldn’t be done were absolutely correct.
So out of my $100,000 goal I was only able to bring in $5,490. But there is a silver lining to this, I have decided to invest that $5,490 on someone just as deserving as those Haitians, that’s right…Me!
So I plan on buying myself a pretty cool mountain bike and a nice snowboard. I am also going to buy a GoPro camera so I can document my adventures on these new toys. Hopefully you will be seeing some pretty amazing videos showing up on your Facebook feeds.
I think when I first started that Go Fund me page I had good intentions, I thought I really had a vision of sorts, but the more I think about it, the more I think I misunderstood Arnold, after all he has that crazy accent and all. I think he didn’t want me to help Haiti at all, I think he said go help yourself and make great videos while you do it.
I think it was Abraham Lincoln who said “Before you can help others you need to help yourself” and believe me old Abe has never been more spot on with one of his quotes. I need to help “Me” first, then I can put my attention towards some other country. Besides it isn’t like nobody else isn’t helping the Haitians, I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that Bill and Hillary Clinton did some stuff there, made some money or something.
So here is another idea I just had, it’s a way I can help Haiti by helping myself first. I won’t get too technical with all the details but here are the basics. So if my adventure videos get enough viewers online, like on YouTube then there is a possibility I could generate revenue from it, maybe even get some sponsors. I think it would be Awesome if Colt or Smith & Wesson sponsored me, like with free guns and ammo. Who knows maybe I could even become a world famous adventure seeker, they might make a movie about my life and I will make sure Dwyane “The Rock” Johnson plays me, and I will try to get Arnold to play a small cameo in it, after all he is the one who started this journey for me. But I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself, let’s stay in the here and now.
Picture this for a moment…Me, just a simple guy trying to help a starving third world nation. Now imagining me flying down a snow covered mountain side, doing killer tricks on my snowboard, a snowboard that YOU might have helped pay for with your donation. And the best part? You will get to relive this adventure with me over and over as you watch my amazing videos. So ask yourself, was that money well spent? Hell Yes!! And I have the videos to prove it.
Sure, maybe some people will go hungry tomorrow in Haiti, but I’m sure the Clinton’s will feed them so it’s going to be alright.
I believe it was John F. Kennedy who once said “Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fail.” I’m not ashamed to say that, in a small sense, I did fail. But not unlike a phoenix in the ashes or a man that falls off his cool new mountain bike going down a sick trail, I too shall rise.
I want to say “Thank You” to everyone who helped make this dream come true for me, and if you happen to see one of my cool ass adventure videos be sure to “like” and “subscribe” that way you can share in my journey of giving.