You Cancelled You’re Gym Membership And Now Your Life Has Gone To Hell!



So far 2016 really isn’t working out for you is it? You can’t help but notice your life has skidded off the highway of happiness and landed into a ditch despair . Maybe you’re so called  “friends”  are ignoring you, they won’t even “Like” your status updates anymore. What the hell?  Work seems to be going even worse, your boss suddenly hates you, you’re co-worker’s treat you like you have Ebola. And now on top of everything thing else, your adorable little kitty won’t even get near you, all you want is just to snuggle with her but she scratches you and runs off….Face it, You have hit rock bottom my friend!

Do you remember the good ol’ days, you would come home from a long day of work and without fail your faithful little “fur baby”  would be there waiting for you at the door, seemingly excited that you had finally made it home. But now things are very different, there is tension in the air. You come home and nothing, nobody greats you, no faithful little fur baby anxious to see you. Now your little hairball stares at you from across the living room, with that look, you know the look, the “You make me sick” look.

You do your best to get your fur baby’s attention, maybe you throw their favorite toy towards them, trying to entice them into some playful fun with you, but all you get is indifference, your fur baby’s glazed eyes, staring through you, piercing your soul, it is clear, your beloved fur companion wants nothing to do with you, you may as well be dead, because to your precious little kitty you already are.

How did you get to this point in life? You are in an emotional hell, and you know it. What could you have done to make the only thing you ever truly loved (because you are unable to maintain healthy human relationships) turn on you? Is this Karma’s idea of payback for something you did?

Are the Gods punishing you because you aren’t a true believer? Perhaps Mother Nature is conspiring to destroy you and all that you love because you left that McDonald’s wrapper on the ground instead of being an Eco-Warrior and picking that shit up….Shame on you!! You disgust me as well. Just kidding I have no idea who you are, probably just some nutjob who is a pain in the ass to be around.

But you need to figure this problem out, you can’t possible keep living this life of misery. Normally you can handle your life being a mess, face it, it always has been. And work sucks anyways, you are just noticing it more because your home life is in turmoil. So the solution is to find out why there is a problem at home, why does your beloved little fur ball hate you now?

Did this problem at home start that day you stole that parking spot from that poor old disabled man at the veterinarian’s office? You remember him, he was just there to get his precious little companion checked on, poor lil fella had been sick for a week. But you were in a hurry, and cut him off and you even laughed about it…Wow, you really are an asshole aren’t you? Karma should kick your ass.

After some soul-searching it dawns on you…

Everything in your life started going to shit about two months ago, when you decided not to renew your gym membership. You wanted to save a few bucks, you figured you would just workout at home, you have a few free weights, a yoga mat, everything you needed, remember? But you never did workout did you? Always too busy playing x-box, or feeding your fat face with Doritos and Cupcakes. You disgust me!

Not only did you let yourself down, you let your fur companion down as well. Do you think your beloved kitty wants to be around you now? You let yourself go, you are a pig. If you don’t respect yourself what makes you think your fur companion will respect you? The answer is it won’t, you lost your kitty’s respect the day you cancelled your gym membership. And from that day forward your life just spiraled out of control, but you were blind to it, until it was too late.

Now what? Well, let’s be honest, the damage is done. You have two options. First you can renew your gym membership and bust your ass trying to get back in shape, maybe, just maybe your fur companion will stick around and see if you will see it through, maybe once you show your kitty that you learned your lesson and are doing everything you can to repair the damage you caused, perhaps you can still have a relationship, a healthy one. It’s worth a shot

Or you can go with option two, quit your job, give your fur companion to someone who actually cares about their body and works out, then run away, move to another country, go to Mexico, live in a shack down by the beach and pray that the cartel doesn’t cut your head off for being a fat nasty gringo. But by then you would probably welcome that, you don’t want to live with your shame anymore, cancelling your gym membership? How could you be so stupid?

For your sake, and your fur baby’s sake I hope you get your ass back in the gym…Hurry, before it’s too late!

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