To My Caring And Adoring Friends Or Anyone Who Cares,
Perhaps some of you only know me from social media, others may know me from the gym, or from lurking around in the park after dark, but more than likely you have no idea who I am…And that’s okay, you don’t have to know me.
People help out strangers all the time and they usually feel better about themselves for doing it, wouldn’t you like to feel better about yourself by helping me out? Of course you would!
So what’s the purpose of this post? Well it is about being Awesome, you know what I’m talking about. Once in a while there are certain material goods that life dangles in front of us, tempting us, making you stop all rational thought and focus solely on that item. Well friends and strangers that is what has happened to me and that is why I started a Go-Fund Me page. The title is simple and to the point “Please Help Me.” I was told that I should make it fairly simple and don’t get too heavy in the wording because people have short attention spans, so let’s not beat around the bush anymore shall we? What do I want? A GAU (M134) MiniGun! Why? Because…Think about it man, a freaking MiniGun! That’s why!
So the primary goal of this Go-Fund Me page is to get the money I need to purchase the GAU (M134) MiniGun and if feasible a custom made mount for it so I can attach it to my car. Also these suckers burn through a lot of ammo so if I could raise enough money I would like to get myself at least a hundred thousand rounds to start with. Oh, and in case you are worried that I might do something illegal with this bad boy don’t even fret it. I mainly just want it to go to the range with it, squirt off a few rounds and that’s it, nothing illegal. Just a decent fella living out his dream of having his own MiniGun attached to his car.
The GAU 2B/A (M134) MiniGun has some great features, the one I want to buy has been completely rebuilt and looks as new as the day it left the General Electric factory. Here are a few items that come with the MiniGun:
CUSTOM MADE FIRE CONTROL BOX
2-SPEED MOTOR (2000/4000 SPM)
PERSONAL TRAINING AT YOUR SITE
Do you see that? They will even train me on how to use it properly, so that should alleviate any concerns some of you may have that I won’t know what I’m doing once I have this bad boy.
So how much will this MiniGun cost? Well let me just say it is a steal for $60,000! That’s right just $60,000!! I can hardly believe how cheap it is. But remember I will need a custom made mount for my car so that will add about $5,000 to the price and then we should include some money for ammo. I mean what good is owning a MiniGun if you don’t have any ammo to shoot it with? So for starters let’s add $15,000 for ammo. That puts the total at $80,000.
I am worth $80,000! Come on friends and strangers, don’t you think this is a small price to pay for me to live out my dream? I mean, I see Go-Fund Me pages for silly stuff like new kidneys, life-saving operations or homes for homeless people. If they can get the money they need for that silly stuff why can’t I get the same fair shake and get my MiniGun paid for? That’s right, there is absolutely no logically reason why I should be denied this dream….My MiniGun Dream!
So if you don’t happen to have a PayPal account or don’t feel comfortable giving the Go-Fund Me website your credit card information, I will be more than happy to accept cash or cashier checks. Please no personal checks, that is just a headache I don’t want to deal with. For my local friends feel free to contact me and I will meet you at a location of your choosing to collect your donation. Or feel free to come to the gym in the mornings and give me whatever you can, remember no donation is too small or too big, bigger the better I always say.
So as an incentive to donate to my Go-Fund Me account, there are a number of rewards if you make a donation, and they are as follows:
Pledge $10 or more
You will get a “Thank You” email sent to you from me, along with a picture of me and my new MiniGun.
Pledge $20 or more
You will get a hand written note from me Thanking You for your donation. I will include a personal “doodle” for you, probably something of me shooting the MiniGun, it may even be considered a collector’s item one day so hang on to it.
Pledge $50 or more
I will send you a video of me shooting the MiniGun at some targets, I will also include a few spent cartridge casings so you can get that range “smell” for yourself. It will be like you are there with me…Being Awesome!
Pledge $250 or more
I will invite you to come to my home and shoot the MiniGun. You will need to supply your own ammo and then clean the MiniGun afterwards. But still it may be a once in a lifetime opportunity for you to shoot this amazing weapon.
Thank you and happy donating!