I would say I normally approve of situations when someone makes an honest attempt to improve their ability to communicate with other people…And if this behavior somehow benefits me then even better.
I like being around people that seize every opportunity to communicate their feelings. I think it can be a wonderful process, laying it all out on the table, no hints, and no half-stories, just the facts, no matter how cold-hearted and destructive they can be at times. So for those people who understand the “art of communication” I welcome you to my tribe.
But for every effective communicator there will be one who isn’t, but they falsely believe that they are, so much so that every fiber of their tie-dyed souls believes they are masters of the art. When they speak, they are speaking the truth, at least the truth as they understand it, shape it, and enhance it. What these people don’t realize is that they are batshit crazy in my eyes.
Now for an ineffective communicator, life can be one series of ineffectual conversations after another, they like to add lots of unnecessary words to their sentences and sometimes they can waste the better part of an half hour just trying to get their point across. For example, let’s say someone is propositioned for a date by the drunk person sitting with them at the bus stop. Instead of just saying “No, thanks” with perhaps a heavy dose of pepper spray from their “exclamation point” can tucked away in their waistband.
But instead they break open their book on ineffectual communications and blurt out something like “I really am uncomfortable with the amount of alcohol you appear to have consumed already today, plus I need to stay home tonight and watch the “Bizarre Foods” marathon that’s starting tonight, I hope you can understand.” Now see what happened here, they ended their sentence with a question, which invites more unwanted communication with the party in question. This will complicate things. Not to mention waste even more valuable time. So if you average the unnecessary words that waste about thirty minutes a day, times that by a year and you have about eight days wasted in conversations with people we would rather not be communicating with. Just think how you could be spending that time, maybe napping or planting a field full of rhubarb or better yet having sex.
Another example where ineffectual communication rears its ugly head is when parents try communicating with toddlers. Let’s say you’re young buck doesn’t want to get dressed, he would rather roam around the house naked (As an adult I’m totally for this behavior, being naked is liberating) but for a toddler using it to control the situation it can just be a pain in the ass. Especially if the parent can’t properly communicate their need for them to get dressed and quickly. Instead the parent will try and listen to what the little fella is trying to say and try again later when things are better for the toddler.
I call Bullshit…
A toddler doesn’t even know what he or she needs, nor do they recognize any needs other than hunger and perhaps a desire to rip the tail of the family cat. An appropriate response to the young control artist would have been to physically capture them and shove them into whatever crappy Osh Kosh outfit you had handy and move on with the day. The parent not taking control of the situation just reinforces the little monsters power play and one day the parent will have a thirty year “toddler” living in their basement screaming at them for hot pockets and kool-aid.
Or even a worst case scenario the little fella will grow up being pampered and coddled, head off to college and suddenly get smacked in the face by reality. They will then revert back to the toddler stage and demand “Safe Spaces” where adults can’t tell them what to do, and they are not required to face reality there either.
Maybe they will give their teachers a list of “Trigger Words” you know what Trigger Words are, those words that are so horrible, so emotionally damaging that the toddler simply cannot bare to be around anyone who uses them, then they will scurry off to their “Safe Spaces” and play video games. But the best part is, the schools, the teachers and even the parents will cater to this behavior, but why? Well the schools and the teachers will do it because they are afraid of getting a bullshit lawsuit filed against them. And the parents will give into this behavior because deep down they know they are responsible for these grown up toddlers. Because back when they really were toddlers they didn’t want to hurt their “feelers” by acting like a parent so instead they tried being an enabler.
Way to go…Now look where that shit got you and your over-sized toddlers!
So this is why I like people who can communicate, people who can lay it all out on the table. There really is an art to communicating with your fellow humans, whether they are your kids, spouses, friends or family learn how to say what you mean and mean what you say. Just think how much simpler life would be if people would just communicate properly.
But this is just my opinion…
I myself still favor simple “Yes” and “No” answers over long-winded inconclusive, ineffectual bullshit that dribbles out of most people’s mouths.
Sometimes I think my “feelers” get hurt the most when people try letting me down with a long-winded ineffectual conversation that sucks the life and time out of me…Instead of just saying “No, thanks.”