Half True…Mostly Bullshit



Twenty Partial Truths For You To Consider


  1. If you feed a dog chocolate, it will not be able to smell 

   for thirty minutes afterwards.


  1. Sharks can detect one part gin in 100 million parts tonic.


  1. Humans and Monkeys are closely related in the fact that 

    they are the only species who have sex for money.


  1. Lavender is the absence of all color.


  1. Teddy Roosevelt talked loudly and carried a little stick.


  1. A person cannot taste food unless it is mixed with blood.


  1. George Washington’s wooden eyes are on permanent 

    display at the Smithsonian.


  1. Human children are the fastest land animals at making 



  1. An ostrich’s eye is larger than its capacity to love.


  1. A bloodhound can smell a broken heart up to three 

    miles away.


  1. The average human requires more calories to smile 

    while eating a piece of celery than to frown and

    vomit it back up.


  1. Both Hitler and Bin Laden were each missing one goat.


  1. During the 1980’s due to the scarcity of all metals, the 

    Oscars given out during that time period were made of 

    whale bones.


  1. Some almonds contain cashews.


  1. Deer antlers are made from hate, accumulated and 

    gradually hardened over the years.


  1. The sentence “An apple a day keeps the doctor away” 

    uses every single apple cliché at least once.


  1. No sandwich can be made unless you’re in the kitchen.


  1. William Shakespeare could simultaneously write 

     backwards and upside-down with one hand and kill

     a man with the other.


  1. Oscar Meyer is well known for their burrito mobile.


  1. To err is Obama.

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