Death By Dumbbell…We Must Act Before They Pass Legislation Banning The Use Of Dumbbells.

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In case you haven’t been paying attention to the news lately, I need to point out the rash of gruesome deaths being caused by Dumbbells. There was another one over the weekend, this will undoubtedly raise the question of Dumbbell registration again and many politicians are already promising to push the legislation through Congress.

The media will hype these deaths up like they always do, just fear mongering plain and simple. There have been several studies, the most recent one which was done by Montana State University, which disproves any link between children watching shows like  “Pumping Iron”  or  “Generation Iron” and adults using Dumbbells as a tool to commit violent crimes, again there is absolutely no correlation between the two.

There are some people calling for mandatory waiting periods before people can start using Dumbbells in the gym, perhaps even making people take a Dumbbell safety course before they can use them. This will most likely also lead to Dumbbell registration and criminal background checks before you can purchase one, even at places like Walmart. None of these measures will create any meaningful reduction in Dumbbell related crimes.

Some politicians even say there should be a mandatory waiting period when purchasing a Dumbbell, but this would fail to accomplish anything because there has never been a case of someone using a Dumbbell in a crime of passion. Most crimes involving Dumbbells have turned out to involve illegal Dumbbells which were purchased on the black market, smuggled in from Mexico.

Some people want to limit the size and weight of Dumbbells, thinking if they limit the size to no larger than 25 pounds that this might somehow reduce their use in crimes. But there really is no distinction between a regular Dumbbell and an Assault Dumbbell. Common sense would tell you that no Dumbbell has ever been made for the express purpose of hurting anyone. The only exception to this was the  “Arnold Dumbbell” or as some call it the  “Terminator”  which the military has designed for use in a failed operation to demoralize and humiliate the girly men of ISIS. It turned out dropping the GPS guided Arnold Dumbbells had little effect on ISIS moral like the military hoped. Turns out it’s hard to humiliate someone who is more interested in screwing goats then impressing women with their physiques…Silly Terrorists!

It really is strange to me that Dumbbells, which were designed to help people gain muscle, and to turn your biceps into  “Guns”  have themselves been turned into weapons of human destruction. I mean if someone wants to kill another person they will do it, but for someone to choose a Dumbbell for that purpose just blows my mind. Why not just use a firearm? Or maybe even a knife? It saddens me that Dumbbells have now been given an unfair characterization as a tool of murder.

I’m going to take a wild guess and say on average there are 15,000 murders a year in this country and out of those only 283 were caused by Dumbbells. Just one would be too many but in the bigger picture 283 isn’t that alarming. To put things in perspective more people die from Shark attacks each year. Just in the state of Florida last year 934 people were eaten by Sharks, but you never hear about these stories because the state doesn’t want it’s tourism affected, but yet the media report’s on Dumbbell deaths and make it sound like it’s an epidemic, which is scaring people away from gym’s and fitness in general.

I think most people don’t realize that the majority of Dumbbell related deaths are not violent crime related. Do you realize you are twenty times more likely to be killed by a Dumbbell on accident, then someone purposely using one against you?

The majority of these Dumbbell accidents occur when people are improperly using them while they exercise. Most cases result from people doing over-head presses with them and they lose their grip on the Dumbbell and it falls hitting them in the head, usually killing them instantly. Several weeks ago I witnessed one of these accidents that happen in my gym, there was this guy who was doing seated overhead presses with one hundred pound Dumbbells, I asked him if he needed a spot but he said  “I got this bro”  and on his very first rep, he lost his grip and one of the Dumbbells came tumbling down crushing his skull, I had blood and brain matter all over me, I nearly wasn’t able to finish my workout, but I pulled through and finished it…Thank God!

As parents it is important we teach our children the proper use of Dumbbells, whether it’s for sport, profession or as a hobby, if we teach our kids early enough on the proper safety precautions to take when using them, perhaps we can reduce the number of Dumbbell related accidents each year.

If you ever find yourself getting hit in the head by a Dumbbell either by accident or on purpose, please seek immediate medical attention, even if you feel like your injuries are not life threatening it is important to get checked out. If you do receive a blow to the head from a Dumbbell look for the warnings signs of serious injury, blurred vision, large amounts of blood loss, bleeding from the ears, nose and eyes, indented skull, caved-in skull, exposed brain matter, inability to move arms or legs, involuntary bowl movements, people around you screaming and unable to look directly at you without vomiting, these are all signs you should seek immediate medical attention.

Let’s not forget our country was founded on the principles that we are all free men, we have the right to bear arms, build big arms and lift big weights, which include Dumbbells. Don’t just sit there and let these hard fought freedoms be stripped away from us, just because some jackasses and their irresponsible use of our beloved Dumbbells. So many of these unnecessary deaths could be prevented if Bros just used a spotter. So let’s all do our part in keeping each other safe at home or the gym, wherever Dumbbells are found let there also be safety found with them….God Bless AmericaGod Bless our Troops and God Bless Those Who Use Dumbbells!

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