To The Editor Of Cat World Magazine,
Let me just start out by saying I have been a loyal subscriber of Cat World Magazine for nearly fourteen years. I have always delighted in reading the feature articles which have always been well written and go into great detail about the different breeds of cats and the best ways to raise them.
Each evening I have a routine, I will make myself something to eat, as well as for my cat Ms.Kitty and we will both sit down at the dinner table eat our meals then we retire to the living room where I will sit on the couch and read aloud the articles from your magazine, Ms.Kitty always lays on my lap, soaking up my every word, she truly does love this quality time I spend with her and I really am fond of her cuddles, this really makes for a great evening.
Now I’m not sure if I can properly convey my feelings right now through this format but let’s just say I am heartbroken, devastated, in tears and utterly perplexed because for the second time in as many months I checked my mail and NOTHING! No Cat World magazine yet again! I thought for sure when I called your company for the thirty-seventh time yesterday that I could expect to find your magazine in my mailbox today, but NO! …When I talked to Debbie in customer service she swore on the life of her beloved cat named Sissy that I would have the magazine in my mailbox today. I cannot believe Debbie lied to me, she probably doesn’t even have a cat named Sissy does she?
I just don’t understand what the hell is going on here, I feel like I’m being punished by your company and it’s not just me who is suffering, Ms.Kitty is also suffering. She knows I have been reading old articles to her and she hates it. For the first time in fourteen years she refused to sit in my lap as I read to her last night, she just went over to the other side of the couch and stared off into the distance. So as you can see your company is causing a strain on my relationship with my cat, I’m so angry I can’t even think straight, I almost went to the gas station and bought a beer and I don’t even drink, good thing I was able to hold it together, I would hate to think of what trouble I would have gotten myself into if I had a beer.
I am so dissatisfied with your company right now, I’m questioning whether I should remain loyal to you any longer. Perhaps I should just start reading Cat Fancy like everyone else. Did you just read that? That’s right you are pushing me to the edge, I’m considering going to Cat Fancy, as an Editor do you want that on your conscience? As I’m writing this I’m looking at my clock, it’s almost getting to that time of day when I usually start reading to Ms. Kitty, speaking of Ms. Kitty right now she is sitting on the couch, she has a weird look on her face, she is just staring at me, I can see the utter disappointment in her eyes, she knows tonight is another night I will let her down and it’s all your fault this is happening to me.
Please, this situation needs to be fixed before I take drastic action. I know you don’t want to lose me as a loyal customer, a loyal customer of fourteen years!!! Please, don’t let our relationship end like this, just look into your heart and do the right thing. From one cat lover to another, please get my issues of Cat World to me by tomorrow, otherwise I consider us over! Ms. Kitty and I will be forced to start reading the low-brow dribble that is found in Cat Fancy.
I appreciate your swift response,
P.S. …Ms. Kitty says “HI”