With Halloween quickly approaching what better time than now to experience the ultimate in literary terror… Humanity at its darkest….Scarier than a truck load of spiders….More macabre then a picnic in a cemetery….More twisted than making out with a sibling.
It’s time once again for real life nightmare scenarios taking place in two sentences or less….Keep reading if you dare. (Insert creepy organ music)
Nightmare Scenario One:
I went back to my twentieth high school reunion, and there she was, my first love. Bitch was wearing the same dress as me.
Nightmare Scenario Two:
My little 10 year old niece gave me a hug and told me I was really cool. I later found out it was opposite day.
Nightmare Scenario Three:
My friend set me up to go on a blind date. But when I met up with her at the coffee shop, she was reading a newspaper.
Nightmare Scenario Four:
This girl I was trying to impress at work greeted me with a “How are you doing today?” But before I could stop myself, I replied …”Not much, you?”
Nightmare Scenario Five:
After spending the hours of 8am-12noon anxiously waiting for the cable guy to come, I finally couldn’t wait any longer, I sat down to take a shit at 11:58am. Then the doorbell rings.
Nightmare Scenario Six:
I learned via Twitter that a horrible tragedy struck a small farming town nowhere near my vicinity. I didn’t have any friends or family involved.
Nightmare Scenario Seven:
Your childhood friend opines that he never has enough time to spend with his super-hot wife. You say, “Me too”
Nightmare Scenario Eight:
My neighbor told his wife that if you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything. He is a paraplegic.
Nightmare Scenario Nine:
You and your fiancé decide to abstain from sex with each other for three months before your wedding day. On your honeymoon your fiancé lets you know she is late on her period.
Nightmare Scenario Ten:
My family plays a drinking game every Halloween. Whenever my grandpa says something racist, we freak out because he’s been dead for eight years.