I know it’s been awhile, but I wanted to share something with you, I just did a Yoga class and since I haven’t felt this limber in a long time, not to mention I am riding a wave of endorphin’s right now, so I thought why not write you. I mean it’s been almost a year since we last spoke, at first I thought you were just playing hard to get, but after six months went by and nothing I figured you just needed some space, and at nine months I thought well maybe you just weren’t that into me but I still held out hope… Anyways so here I am reaching out to you.
So right now I have a huge smile on my face, and I’m totally jacked with these endorphin’s. And if you remember, I don’t use any type of drugs, so for me to feel high is really saying something, don’t you think? Okay, since I’m feeling pretty good right now I thought it would be a good time to share a few things with you. I know we only went out on three dates, well technically two actual dates and the third were you had me meet you in a public place and told me not to contact you again. Can I count that as a third date? How do you count it? Well what I didn’t get a chance to tell you back then is that I think I love you, well at least I did, I mean it would probably be weird if I said I still did, right? I figured there wouldn’t be any harm in telling you now.
If I said I still love you would that creep you out?
Look, it’s not like it’s a big deal or anything, I don’t want you to feel obligated in responding to this revelation, I just wanted to put it out there while I still have some of those feelings. Actually it’s pretty confusing for me, but I’m working on me right now and I really feel like I’m making some great progress. I use to cry a lot, but lately I really have that under control. My Mom said that I am cursed with these extra strong feelers, just like her. But after I did this Yoga class today and I had gotten myself covered in sweat, I had a huge surge in endorphin’s and man I sure don’t feel like crying now that’s for sure. Right now I’m actually shocked at my own resilience. I think I finally found something that helps keep the sad feelers away and brings out the happy ones and I owe it all to Yoga.
I have always believed that staying healthy and doing plenty of exercise is the best therapy for all of life’s problems, even a broken heart. I’m not saying you broke my heart or anything, heck, like you said we barely knew each other but you could see right away that it wasn’t going to work, so I shouldn’t have a broken heart, right? I mean I’m sure yours isn’t broken? Right? It’s not like you regretted your decision or anything? Right? Anyways, exercise has really helped me quite a bit this past year.
Something else I will share with you since I’m in such a good mood. I use to enjoy meeting new people, but after we went our separate ways meeting new people is hard for me because all I end up doing is talk about you. Especially if they have similar features like you have. You have no idea how many times I felt like calling you after I talked to someone about you, it was an everyday thing for a while but the last month or two I have only had those urges maybe three or four times a week so it’s really getting better.
I know I have control over this feeling I have for you, I can make the choice to take pleasure in the many things about my life that don’t involve you, which technically is everything and I should be able to move on and enjoy the company of others but a small part of me still hangs on to that tiny thread of hope. Is this wrong of me? I guess you probably don’t have this problem, or do you?
I pretty certain you never had to think about stuff like this. I’m sure you are probably thinking I’m some sort of whacko or something. But please understand I am not. Look, being in love with you is one thing. But being utterly dependent on you for my personal happiness is another. I can’t help these feelings I have, I really love you and it hurts. I’m not saying I wish you would let me see you or anything because I’m sure that would sound weird…Right? Although it would be really nice if you gave me your new phone number and let me talk to you once in a while, maybe every other day, that’s not too much is it? I hope I don’t sound like some loser or anything pathetic like that….You don’t think I’m a Loser do you?
You don’t have to answer this but do you ever find yourself thinking of me? I can’t help but hope that there is some remote chance that you think about me every night and sometimes during the day. I totally understand if you don’t, I mean it has been a long time and all. I guess realistically you are probably thinking about someone else, someone else who isn’t sitting in a puddle of their own tears. To be honest the thought of you thinking of someone else is just unbearable.
Well I just wanted to write to you, especially since I feel I’m in a good place right now. I mean it would really be bad if I was writing to you from a really bad place in my life. I’m just glad I’m not in that place anymore. Not today, no way, because today I’m sitting here on a Yoga mat, covered in sweat and full of wonderful endorphin’s. I really am loving these endorphin’s, because they totally push all the negative impulses I have down to the bottom and they carry nothing but joy and happiness to the top. So my plan is to do Yoga every single day until the endorphin’s completely smother any thoughts of you out of my body.
Well I just wanted to share my happiness with you, I hope you don’t mind and really you shouldn’t feel obligated to respond to this letter at all, unless you want to then please, please just respond then. But totally no big deal.