I recently felt confident enough to go out and allow ten random strangers to give me an honest review regarding my Goatee…Here are those reviews.
“I really like it!”
Reviewer: Janet from East Helena, MT.
I don’t know what you looked like without it but it certainly is one of the better ones I have seen around this town. It’s one of those Goatees where you just want to touch it and play with it, if you get a chance. I say keep it on.
“It could be better”
Reviewer: Jack from Butte, MT.
I have seen a lot of Goatees in my time and I usually like Goatees, but your Goatee isn’t that impressive, I have seen twelve year old kids in Butte who have better Goatees than you, and those are on the girls. But in fairness I would say it has potential, but looks somewhat patchy and it isn’t doing anything, you should put beard oil in it, maybe that would help.
“I don’t like facial hair at all”
Reviewer: Beverly from Helena, MT.
I have never been a fan of facial hair, when my husband Harold was alive I never allowed him to grow hair on his face, I considered it the devils work, shows that a man is lazy, shows he doesn’t care about his appearance. My Harold always would complain that he wanted to grow a mustache but I told him if he did I would cut his lip off with a pair of scissors while he was sleeping. So go home and shave that shit off your face right now.
“You look so damn sexy”
Reviewer: Marcel from San Francisco, CA.
I just love it on you, makes you look very butch, I think if you added some leathers to your attire, maybe a nice pair of chaps and a leather vest you would really be a piece of manly mystery meat. You are like The Rock meets Freddie Mercury, So Divine.
Reviewer: Tina from Belgrade, MT.
Oh my God it is such an incredible Goatee!! I saw images of every man I ever loved flash before my eyes when I look you in the face. I swear if I wasn’t married I would take my clothes off right now and throw myself onto that Goatee. And I would make you little Goatee wearing babies and we could live happily ever after in my family’s cabin, which is near Seely Lake, You would love it there.
“Seems like a trendy thing to do”
Reviewer: Edward from Missoula, MT.
I don’t know, sure it’s cool, but I’m so tired of people thinking they have to wear facial hair just because they live in Montana, I mean look at me, I was born and raised here and I don’t go hunting, fishing, anything outdoorsy, yet I still consider myself a man. Dude just shave it off and stop worrying about trying to conform.
“Not horrible, but not great either”
Reviewer: Nicky from Helena, MT.
Well its okay, but let’s not get carried away either, it’s not going to win any awards, but it’s not total trash either. I would say it is a solid “decent” it has a certain rugged charm, but lacks depth and fullness, I would say you have done well, but you still have so far to go.
Reviewer: Zane from East Helena, MT.
I can’t believe you even call that thing a Goatee? Do people tell you that it looks good on you? Because if they do they are lying to you bro. Don’t waste any more time trying to grow that sorry thing out, shave it off and just keep shaving, that’s my opinion.
Reviewer: John from Bozeman, MT.
It’s okay, I mean it’s weird that you asked me to rate your Goatee and all, but sure it looks fine.
Reviewer: Amanda from Helena, MT.
I really like it, but you have one of those faces were anything would look good on it, you could glue a piece of Kleenex above your lip it would look sexy, I’m mean look at you, all those muscles, tall, hot and the Goatee is just icing on the cake….Nom Nom