Goodbye My Love…

gregreg

 

Today is the three year anniversary of the loss of my love, my sweet, sweet love! I can still remember the first time holding you in my hands, my knuckles turned white, butterflies in my stomach, the fillings in my teeth seemed to come lose from the excitement. But I let you go, I let you slip away and with you a huge piece of me left as well. Now you are lost forever. Sometimes I look up at the stars and wonder where you are tonight, who are you with, do you still think of me?

My sweet angel, we had been through much together, I took you from your last relationship, and I never really bothered to work on the issues you still had, I failed you. Even though our miles together covered the mountains and streams of Montana, the Pacific Coast and back, I can still recall all the new things we experienced together, we watched sunsets melt away into the darkness. Some said I road you too hard, but I always felt you liked it that way, you never wanted the road we traveled to be a smooth one, you enjoyed the uneven roads that our life together offered us. I know it was my fault things went bad between us, it was I who gave up on you! We may have run out of road, but there was still gas left in the tank….I know in my heart there was. I could hear your engine purring until I turned the key and threw you to another man.

Baby, I will never forget about you, nor the day we met. I had just come into some extra money and was looking to splurge on myself, I stopped at a gas station and there you were, just sitting there, not a care in the world. I was kind of shy at first, didn’t know if I should go over to introduce myself or not, but finally I got up the courage and went over to check you out. It was love at first sight, from that day on we were inseparable.

Together we had something special and everyone could see it, my friends said we were the perfect couple, a match made in heaven. We did a few road trips together that first week and that honestly was the best week of my life. For five years we made it work, and for most of it we didn’t even have to try, it just seemed to flow perfectly. This was our journey, the perfect union of two imperfect souls.

You went with me that time I went to Vegas, the drive there was perfect, you carried me through it like you always have since we first met. Those six beautiful cylinders humming along, beating away as the miles flew by, but we were both oblivious to the difficult times ahead, it was hard to see the storm clouds gathering when you’re so happy in the sunshine. Once we made it to Vegas I could tell you were tired, stressed, not use to the heat or traffic, you lost your coolant, but I wasn’t mad, I understood why it happened, we made a promise to see it through thick and thin, but still something changed on that trip.

When we finally made it back home I could tell things weren’t right, we weren’t right. You went in to see a specialist, the news was worse than I expected, I freaked out, I know I wasn’t there for you when you needed me the most. I was lost, I didn’t know how to handle the news, you weren’t as young as you once were, and the specialist wanted a lot of money to fix you. Yes, I will admit I started looking for someone new, someone a little younger, with less miles on her. Damn it, I know I was being selfish, you deserved better from me….Can you ever forgive me?

I knew once I gave you up I made a mistake, I tried to lose myself in another, younger version of you. I will admit she is everything you were and more, she even had A/C, can you believe that? You and I always talked about getting you A/C but that was just talk. But after a while even though this new girl was everything I wanted, I couldn’t help but think about you, you were my first, I thought for sure you would be my last, but fate and my selfishness had other plans for us.

I remember the first time I saw you after our messy split, you obviously found someone new, someone who gave you the attention you needed. I could see that he really cared for you, he got you a new top, four new kicks and even some sexy ass pin striping. You looked so HOT, I followed you for a while, not too close, but close enough to see that you were happy. I drove away with a tear in my eye that day, and a longing for that to be us again…It should have been us! I’m so sorry I failed you.

It’s been three years, so much has changed for both of us. We both are happy, we both have someone in our lives who treat us the way we deserve to be treated. But as good as life is today, I can’t help but think back three years ago, what if I did the right thing? What if I didn’t fail you? Would we still be together? Would we be happy? I just wanted to say thank you for the years we had together, you made me the man I am today, I wish you nothing but happiness and open roads. You will always have a special place in my heart, my first real love affair, my first Jeep!  Goodbye, my love.

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