A Letter To Panda Express…



Dear Panda Express,

I recently bought several orders of sweet and sour chicken and fried rice, I was hosting a small dinner party with some friends and Kylee, wonderful young lady I met at the gym, I will admit I was trying to impress her with my cooking abilities, but when I remembered I had no cooking abilities I quickly ran to Panda Express. Needless to say the dinner party was a success. As soon as I put the rice and chicken on the table I had to pull my hand away quickly for fear of being impaled with a fork, I’m not kidding at all. But my guests could not stop raving about the meal I prepared for them (wink wink).

My friend Steve, a man that has suffered from ED all his life, said  “Damn, this tastes just like Asian restaurant’s chicken, well done!”  (He didn’t specify which restaurant he was referring to, in all fairness it could have been a local place)

Ester is Steve’s wife, she is pretty bitter about Steve’s ED issues, pretty sure she is having an affair. She said  “I love the fried rice”  (She also grabbed my ass later in the evening, but she had been drinking)

My friend Andrea kept dropping things, and she would get up from the table making a big scene so that everyone would watch her as she bent over, exposing her ample cleavage. Personally I didn’t mind at all if she was that clumsy, secretly I kept hoping she would drop more stuff. She was wearing one of those Victoria Secret under-wire type bra’s, money well spent if you ask me. Andrea has cute short bangs and walks in a zig zag pattern through the room, she purposely crisscrosses her way around the room until she makes a hexagram. I feel she does this unconsciously, and when I asked her if she enjoyed the dinner she had this to say…”I’m not a fan of Asian people or their food, but I really loved the taste of this chicken”

Luo goes to the same gym I do. I don’t think English is his first language, but I am not totally sure, he doesn’t really talk that much. But he is very handy and he is the first one I call when I have any type of mechanical problems, like the other day I couldn’t get my lawnmower to work, so Luo came over and did something with it and it fired right up. He is so good at that type of stuff, but he doesn’t do it for a living, instead he sells cleaning supplies door to door, which seems odd for someone who doesn’t talk very much. In my opinion he should be fixing machinery and using tools. He doesn’t like it when I mention that to him, he just scowls at me and walks away. Anyways, when asked about the food Luo said…”It was good”

Kylee was the young lady I was trying to impress. To be honest the whole dinner party was just an excuse to invite her over, I added my other friends to serve as buffers. She didn’t know anyone there except for me. I met Kylee a few days earlier at my gym, she was on the treadmill, so I went over and started using the one next to her, she had ear buds in so I started making hand gestures to her so she would take them out, she seemed annoyed at first, but I made a joke about being on the treadmill and she laughed. After a while we began talking about other stuff, it just flowed so nicely, no awkwardness, just a comfortable conversation that felt totally natural. It was like she was an old friend and we were just catching up on each other’s lives since we last met. Everyone else in the gym just seemed to vanish as we both just focused on each other. To be honest it almost killed me dead to have to leave the gym that first day, I was afraid I wouldn’t see her again, what if she started going to the gym at a different time? My mind was all cloudy that night, but when the next day arrived, there she was, back on that treadmill, and my heart almost exploded when she saw me come in and she waved, she even had a huge smile on her face, I swear I floated, I was literally floating as I got on the treadmill next to her. Well she really didn’t say too much at the dinner party, but she did say this…”You won’t believe this, but I made this same dish last weekend!”  Yes, I’m serious she said that!

Well all in all, a good time was had by all my guest’s. Kylee gave me a kiss on my cheek on her way out, and now I’m in seventh heaven. I really feel that kiss implied that we have reached a certain level of physical attraction, and the next obvious step is intimacy, the excitement I am feeling can only be described as “Intense” I must say though she was so casual about it too, you know, it was almost like it meant nothing to her, like maybe this was something she does with anyone as she strides back out into the night, the light and smell of someone else’s home falling away behind her. But really, I shouldn’t read too much into it.



Loyal Customer

Helena, Montana

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