I have gone to great lengths to research and study each one of my Facebook “friends” and I assigned them each a new Indian name. Now I did not put anyone’s real name next to their Indian name that way nobody can get upset with me in case they got offended, and believe me someone is always offended. But if you feel one of these Indian names fits what you post on Facebook then that’s probably you.
If you ask nicely I will tell you your Indian name….
Facebook Indian Names:
Still lives With Mom
Tows Car Watches You Cry
Amazon Warrior Princess
Wears Girlfriends Workout Pants
Girl I Think Is Cute But She Thinks I’m Dumb
Sexy In Texas
Derby In Sin City Girl
Wears Slayer Shirts In Vegas
Makes Flowers Drinks Wine
Tears Muscles Does Cardio Now
Pink Gloved Awesomeness
Crossfit Do Or Die Guy
Hot Blonde Who Ignores Me
Fireman Who Vacations In Mexico
Pumps Iron With No Hair
Patriotic American Badass
Cat Mustache Above Lip With Arrows
Will Never Be Upper Management
Bleaches Teeth
Borrows With No Intention Of Returning
Brainstorms Alone
Buys Plants For Companionship
Crossfit Hottie
Muscle Up Momma
Calls Mom Daily
Protein Farts
Collects Old Pens
Comments On How Wonderful Bread Is
Considers Skydiving As Possible Hobby
Considers Soup Selects Salad
Draws On Feet
Draws On Others
Eats Fruit Far Too Seldom
Eats Own Words
Estimates Shipping Costs
Examines Skin For Moles
Extends Lines Of Credit
Fantasizes About Climbing Buildings
Fixes Paper Jams
Forgets To Take Meds
Fritters Away Savings
Gets Rich Quick Again
Insists Pizza And Beer’s On Me
Invents New Persona
Jokes About Misfortune Of Others
Lacks People SKills
Listens To Gut
Locks Door, Unlocks Door, Locks Door, Unlocks Door, Locks Door Before Leaving
Longs For Day When Hair Was Shiny
Looks For Love In Wrong Places
Loses Games Of Chance And Takes It Personally
Lurks Near Restroom
Manages Multiple Tasks With No Problem
Moisturizes With Lotion
Pays Bills On-Time
Practices Good Posture
Proffers Swiss Army Knife When Inappropriate
Prunes Roses
Raises Voice In Anger Then Gets Sheepish
Reconsiders Skydiving As Possible Hobby
Recycles Same Joke With Different Friends
Rehearses Before Mirror
Says What You Want To Hear
Sculpts Eyebrows
Searches Flea Market For Treasure
Sends Mixed Signals
Sits On Board Of Directors
Stands By What’s His Name
Subscribes To Sunday Times Home Delivery
Switches Therapists Before Breakthrough
Takes Care Of Payroll
Talks To Animals
Teases Squirrels
Thinks Of Self As Buddhist
Urinates In Shower
Uses PowerPoint
Views Life As Eternal Struggle Between Forces Of Good And Evil
Wants To Hang Out
Waters Lawn
Wears Belt And Suspenders
Wears Matching Bra And Panties
Wonders About The Future, i.e. What It Will Be Like
Works On Abs
Worries About NASDAQ
Wrestles Weakly With Conscience
Writes Prose Poems To Baby Daughter
Xeroxes For Boss
Yaks On Phone All Day
Zigs When He Should Zag
