I Gave My Facebook Friends Indian Names…What Have You Done For Your Facebook Friends?

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I have gone to great lengths to research and study each one of my Facebook “friends” and I assigned them each a new Indian name. Now I did not put anyone’s real name next to their Indian name that way nobody can get upset with me in case they got offended, and believe me someone is always offended. But if you feel one of these Indian names fits what you post on Facebook then that’s probably you.

If you ask nicely I will tell you your Indian name….

 

Facebook Indian Names:

Still lives With Mom

Tows Car Watches You Cry

Amazon Warrior Princess

Wears Girlfriends Workout Pants

Girl I Think Is Cute But She Thinks I’m Dumb

Sexy In Texas

Derby In Sin City Girl

Wears Slayer Shirts In Vegas

Makes Flowers Drinks Wine

Tears Muscles Does Cardio Now

Pink Gloved Awesomeness

Crossfit Do Or Die Guy

Hot Blonde Who Ignores Me

Fireman Who Vacations In Mexico

Pumps Iron With No Hair

Patriotic American Badass

Cat Mustache Above Lip With Arrows

Will Never Be Upper Management

Bleaches Teeth

Borrows With No Intention Of Returning

Brainstorms Alone

Buys Plants For Companionship

Crossfit Hottie

Muscle Up Momma

Calls Mom Daily

Protein Farts

Collects Old Pens

Comments On How Wonderful Bread Is

Considers Skydiving As Possible Hobby

Considers Soup Selects Salad

Draws On Feet

Draws On Others

Eats Fruit Far Too Seldom

Eats Own Words

Estimates Shipping Costs

Examines Skin For Moles

Extends Lines Of Credit

Fantasizes About Climbing Buildings

Fixes Paper Jams

Forgets To Take Meds

Fritters Away Savings

Gets Rich Quick Again

Insists Pizza And Beer’s On Me

Invents New Persona

Jokes About Misfortune Of Others

Lacks People SKills

Listens To Gut

Locks Door, Unlocks Door, Locks Door, Unlocks Door, Locks Door Before Leaving

Longs For Day When Hair Was Shiny

Looks For Love In Wrong Places

Loses Games Of Chance And Takes It Personally

Lurks Near Restroom

Manages Multiple Tasks With No Problem

Moisturizes With Lotion

Pays Bills On-Time

Practices Good Posture

Proffers Swiss Army Knife When Inappropriate

Prunes Roses

Raises Voice In Anger Then Gets Sheepish

Reconsiders Skydiving As Possible Hobby

Recycles Same Joke With Different Friends

Rehearses Before Mirror

Says What You Want To Hear

Sculpts Eyebrows

Searches Flea Market For Treasure

Sends Mixed Signals

Sits On Board Of Directors

Stands By What’s His Name

Subscribes To Sunday Times Home Delivery

Switches Therapists Before Breakthrough

Takes Care Of Payroll

Talks To Animals

Teases Squirrels

Thinks Of Self As Buddhist

Urinates In Shower

Uses PowerPoint

Views Life As Eternal Struggle Between Forces Of Good And Evil

Wants To Hang Out

Waters Lawn

Wears Belt And Suspenders

Wears Matching Bra And Panties

Wonders About The Future, i.e. What It Will Be Like

Works On Abs

Worries About NASDAQ

Wrestles Weakly With Conscience

Writes Prose Poems To Baby Daughter

Xeroxes For Boss

Yaks On Phone All Day

Zigs When He Should Zag

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