Terrorism Finding Other Ways To Win…How Inconvenient!


Terrorist’s finding other ways to win….


In Baseball…

Bottom of the ninth, bases loaded, two outs, last batter is Ali Buttholagoata, he connects with an inside the park home run, first three runners score tying the game, Ali is the winning run, as he rounds second he releases a chemical agent crippling the second baseman and the short stop,Ali makes it to third as he pulls out a grenade and tosses it to the third baseman who mistakenly thought it was a baseball, as he caught it the grenade explodes eliminating the threat at third forAli, he is now on his way to home the outfielder makes a valiant throw to home base, as the catcher gets the ball in his glove, Ali’s teammate Moruk Fatwani runs out of the dugout with asuicide vest strapped to him, he tackles the catcher, they both are vaporized and Ali makes it to home base, winning the game, in celebration Ali hits the switch to a small nuke, blowing the stadium and all the occupants sky high.


In Football…

During a hard fought game, the ISIS Goats are on the ten yard line, they have just a few seconds left on the clock, they have time for just one more play, the score is 17-14, The Goats call out their star kicker, Muhammed Iman Mybutta, to kick the game into overtime. As the other team rushes in to block the kick, they see that the Goats QB Yuzeef Yulee grabbed the ball and is quickly on his way to the end zone, it was a brilliant move on the Goats part. They begin to do a celebratory dance in the end zone Iman Mybutta gets carried away and releases a deadly neurotoxin into the air, hundreds are no longer celebrating.


In Horse Racing…

As the horses and riders come around the last turn at Belmont, the lead jockey riding Old Glory the favored horse to win, is suddenly stunned to see Alwadi Binladen catching up to him, both jockey’s push their horses to the limits during the last few yards of the final straightaway, Binladen suddenly pulls out a gun and shoots Old Glory in the leg, making it possible for Binladen’s horse to win the race. As the Binladen is celebrating and getting interviewed by reporters he detonates a horse bomb in the stables.


In Strawberry Preserves….

At this year’s county fair, the judges have been busy arguing among themselves the last ten minutes, the judges are split on their decision for who takes home the coveted Blue Ribbon for best Strawberry Preserves for this year fair. It is between Mrs. Williams who made her classic preserves that have won her the last four years’ worth of Blue Ribbons and Mustafa Al-Weenie who was a late entry this year and is rumored to have stolen Mrs. Williams secret preserves recipe, but no proof can be found at this time. The judges finally come to a decision and award Mrs. Williams the Blue Ribbon, but before they can hand it to her Al-Weenie quickly dispatches Mrs. Williams head from her body with his trusty sword, so by default Al-Weenie wins the Blue Ribbon. Later Al-Weenie loosens the bolts on the Flaming Arrow ride causing it to crash killing dozens of fair goers.


In The Book Club…

This week at Janet’s weekly book club gathering, she is startled to see a new face, it’s Fahwa Mushooka, who came with her friend Cindy, after the usual wine and cheese meet and great, the book club gets down to business, Janet begins talking about a new book she just read, it was Fifty Shades of Grey, Janet in her characteristic graphic nature goes into great detail regarding the sexual details the book describes, just as Janet is making moaning sounds Mushooka stands up, screams something in Arabic and take’s the cheese knife and shoves it into Janet’s forehead, as panic ensues, Mushooka hits the switch on the suicide vest she is wearing, taking out the entire book club.

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