So You Challenge Someone To A Duel…Now What?




Even though Dueling went out of fashion long ago, why not kick-start the trend again?  Next time you get angry at someone for posting something rude and insensitive on your social media account, forget getting into an online war of words with them, try a different approach and challenge them to a Duel.

Now before you go grabbing your Glock and heading to the park or a Walmart parking lot to meet your foe for the Duel, remember there is an etiquette to Dueling and it should be followed, otherwise it won’t be considered a Duel to the authorities and you might end up in jail. So in order to prevent your unnecessary confinement let’s brush up on the rules associated with Dueling.

First thing that happens is your good name has been soiled on social media, or anywhere as far as that goes, maybe some punk at the laundry mat made fun of your rainbow warrior t-shirt and now your angry and you demand satisfaction from them by going old school, you call them out and challenge them to a Duel. In the old days, this was usually followed by slapping them in the face with your gloves, however, mooning or give them the middle finger is also acceptable.  If they show cowardice and decline your challenge, etiquette calls for them to issue a personal and in some cases a public apology, so basically they will need to get on social media and beg your forgiveness.

Now back in the good ol days of Dueling, you would usually appoint a trusted friend to be your  “second.” Their job would be to liaise with your opponent’s second to see if the dispute can be settled amicably without the need for a Duel.  And prior to the Duel starting, your second is responsible for loading your pistol and ensuring that your opponent isn’t cheating (for example, wearing concealed body armor or using an assault rifle), If you are unable to take part in the Duel, your second should stand in for you.

So you couldn’t work things out amicably, and now it’s time to get your Duel on. You and your opponent begin back to back, usually at dawn and preferably in a nice grassy area, but if all else fails the Walmart parking lot will do in a pinch. Since a Duel is a private affair between the two individuals concerned, only they, their seconds, and a referee should be present.  One of the seconds (or referee if you have one) calls the order  “March,”  the Duelists walk an agreed number of paces, then turn and fire.

If you fire and miss, you must allow the other person to take their shot.  If they choose to fire in the air, rather than at you, they win the right to refuse future challenges.  The Duel can either be to the death or can be called after first blood has been drawn. In other words, the first person to bleed loses.

And there you have it, you now know the etiquette of the Duel, so next time someone pisses you off, challenge them to a Duel. Can you think of anything more Bad Ass to solve your beef? I think not!

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