Coffee Shops Are Filled With Sexual Tension And Coffee

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I hear people talking about it all the time, but I have never paid much attention to it until yesterday, I was in a local coffee shop, getting my morning  Go Go  juice when it finally happened for me, there she was, our eyes locked in on each other like deadly little lasers. We didn’t say a word to each other, but an irresistible urge began tingling inside me, so I did what any man would do in this situation,  I grabbed me coffee and exited the store as quick as possible, I was confused, I didn’t know what to do so I did nothing and just ran away. So now I think everyone has been right all along when they say two people of the opposite gender just can’t be simple customers at the same coffee shop.

I always thought it was a myth, or maybe I just never paid attention before, but the facts now seem clear to me. A man and a woman can’t just share the same space at a coffee shop and not harbor feelings of want and lust, they say it’s the coffee, it’s a stimulant and I guess it stimulates more areas of the body then just the brain, which makes it almost impossible to remain platonic towards each other, just the smell of roasted coffee beans brings out the animal in people.

Maybe some of you aren’t buying this whole theory, I never did except when I took the time to actually realize what’s going on in those pseudo sex palaces posing as normal coffee shops. And just because I wanted to make sure I wasn’t mistaken I went back for another cup of coffee and hour later, but this time I paid attention, I saw several women just sitting in those big comfy bed like chairs, and as soon as I entered the place they began watching me like I was a piece of meat on display at the butcher shop.  The place may have smelled like fresh roasted coffee but it was just masking the smell of raw animalistic sex pheromones being released by these horny, overly-stimulated women, I could feel the awkward tension rising, even though nothing was being said, you could since that sparks were about to fly.

Now if you really think about it with an open mind, it makes sense to say two people of the opposite gender, sitting in the same coffee shop, both drinking stimulants (coffee) can form a mutual attraction with each other based on similar shared experiences, those being, a shared love of coffee, hanging out in coffee shops, sex, and sex in coffee shops.  Now with all this in common already, it’s easy to see how things could escalate from there, even if you don’t agree with what I’m saying because you are in denial or happily married and don’t notice such things.

Look if you put a man and a woman in a coffee shop long enough sparks are bound to fly. But unfortunately, there is little indication that even though inside the coffee shop the man and woman share a special connection, once they leave the coffee shop it doesn’t appear to translate into a viable romantic relationship. Basically without the benefit of constant fresh brewed coffee aroma in the air the sexual tension and lustful feelings quickly disappear. It can easily be said that without the aid of coffee, these two people would never talk to each other outside of the coffee environment.

So whether or not you believe this theory, just be a little more observant next time you go to a coffee shop, take the time to look at those people who are sitting down in those big comfy sex chairs, look into their lustful eyes, and maybe, just maybe you too will notice what I did, the more I study this subject the more I pick up on the hidden secrets of these coffee places. I would also suggest if you are married and don’t want to be caught up in all the sexual behaviors being demonstrated there, simply go up to anyone making eye contact with you and say  “Listen, I know I am in this coffee shop with you, but don’t see this a sex thing or even as flirting, it’s nothing against you, I think you are cute, but really I’m just here for coffee”  This way you reduce the risk of leading on your fellow coffee drinkers and avoid hurting their feelings.

And lastly, even though it’s unlikely that these coffee shop encounters will amount to anything more than just a fun time inside the coffee shop, it is possible they could blossom into a mutually satisfying friendship or even love. And for anyone who’s interested I will be in the coffee shop this morning.

One comment

  1. winfred · June 22, 2015

    funny theory. i will have my eyes open in the coffee shops

    Like

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