I Have A Secret “Trick” For Creating Incredibly Agonizing Massive Muscle Growth…Act Now!

olrrof

 

 

I know with everything else going on in the world right now you probably don’t want to hear what I have to say, but it is really important, my story needs to  be told.  Sure the recent shooting at a black church in South Carolina is tragic, it is a clear case of a crazy ass white guy who targeted blacks, what it isn’t is a gun control story, or a political talking point (enough Obama.)  And Yes,  ISIS taking control of vast territories in the Middle East is a National Security issue, but thanks to an inept and feckless leader we will just allow it to continue until a  Republican President  is elected.  But as important as these stories are, I have my own story, I need this to be about me right now!

So what’s my story? Well it might sound crazy, but it’s fairly, almost completely true, and it’s changed my life forever!   And hopefully once I stop dragging this story out and finally tell it, maybe, just maybe it can help change your life as well. So here it is, I have discovered a totally amazing  way to burn off excess fat and grow incredibly Awesome muscle, and it hasn’t been some long drawn out process it has happened in less than three weeks, I’ve nearly tripled my already magnificent body mass and it just keeps growing, it is almost out of control.

I know every fitness guru and  weight loss charlatan out there has some gimmicky fat burning trick or super-secret weight loss pill for you to get hooked on.  But that’s not what I’m about, I never intended on being the poster child for  Awesome  muscle growth and fat burning power, look it is simple, just watch what you eat, don’t feed the machine crappy food, there see,  that’s not that hard to understand right?  But I did stumble upon this crazy ass fitness  “trick”  a few weeks ago and it has helped me narrow down the the exact foods that my own body needed, and the nutrients it was craving  and now I’m gaining so much mass and definition at an incredible speed.  I even had a routine check –up with my doctor the other day and he was almost scared shitless at my incredible gains.  And when I explained it to him he couldn’t believe how simple it all was.

Believe it or not, this unique yet simple  “trick”  I learned also has given me the energy I need to go total  “BEASTMODE”  in the gym not once, but twice a day.  Hell, I’ve even got energy and stamina to spare.  But the weirdest thing about this whole experience  is when I started using this new  “trick”  My workouts got easier and shorter, instead of doing the usual 2 hour workouts I normally did.  I only had to do three twenty minute workouts per week and even with these short workouts I have grown so big that my own kids don’t even recognize me anymore, there is a good chance I might be dying.

I swear this crazy ass fitness  “trick”  has helped me narrow down the foods I needed to grow incredible muscle mass and burn off the fat like it was nothing, and the speed that it happened honestly scared me, but it’s so worth it.  And one of the biggest differences I have noticed is that the women seem to throw themselves at me now, they chase me down the street ripping the  clothing off me like I was some Hollywood A-lister, it truly is the best time of my life.  I will admit it does have a few noticeable drawbacks, like I have gotten so damn muscular that it is hard to breathe comfortably, but then again it’s worth the labored breathing to have ravenous women swarming me like angry bees, clawing at me like hungry wolves, but I can’t blame them, who wouldn’t want to get their hands on this massive muscle mass and my chiseled definition that screams  “Take Me.”  Not to mention my ever twitching, angry eight pack abs that seem to drive the ladies mad with desire.

Frankly, in all Honesty and Humility all these crazy ass women have turned my life into Boob and Vagina Hellscape!  I live in constant fear of the women who hunt me!  And this madness all started just three short weeks ago.

So let me help you transform your life into what my life is right now!  If you think you have what it takes to have women clawing at you, chasing you, hunting you non-stop, and for muscle mass to literally  “Explode”  off your limbs in just three short weeks.  If you feel you are in a place in your life where you are ready to know the secret  “trick”  I learned, then there is literally no time to waste, because I’m not really sure I will be able to survive much longer at this rate.  My body is literally bursting at the seams with new muscle every hour, every labored breath I take is full of pain and agony.  So contact me right now!  If you are serious about turning your scrawny little girly body into an out of control prison riot of muscle from which death is the only escape…then act now!

 

 

2 comments

  1. hmekeel · June 19, 2015

    I bet the secret is spinach. Just like popeye.

    Like

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