Thanks To The Dolezal Scandal I Finally Feel Free To Self-Identify With My True Inner-Self

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I will admit when I first heard all this news coverage regarding Rachel Dolezal, I found it pretty hilarious, and being able to watch it all unfold on live made for some great TV, but then something deep inside me was awakened , it was like a light switch being turned on in a dark room. When I watched Dolezal explain her behaviors to Matt Lauer, And how she self-identifies herself as a black woman, even though she is clearly white, like so white she has freckles and almost looked like a Ginger as a child, You really can’t get much whiter than that.

But now with all the debate going on about this incident and how there are some, mainly on the left, that say that what Dolezal did is okay, racial identity is just a bunch of words and it matters not what color you are on the outside, it’s you’re “inner” color that matters. So basically if a black guy wants to say he is white then that’s okay, or if a white guy wants to say he is a burrito then that’s okay too.

Well now I finally feel it’s time for me to come out, I want to shed this racial identity blanket I have been wrapped in all these years. I want to be free to be who I am, or what I am on the inside. So from now on I will be self-identifying as a  “Noble Panda.”  Ever since I was a little kid I would grab the white and black crayons and draw pictures of myself as the mighty  Noble Panda.  I know I risk public scorn for self-identifying as a black and white hairy animal usually found in China. Perhaps America isn’t ready for such bold moves in self-awareness, but thanks to  Rachel,  I’m not scared anymore, and I’m completely willing to hit all the major news outlets to explain my brave decision.

To make my story more news worthy I can only home my family tries to  “out”  me and we can go on  National TV  and hash it out, they will probably say that I never made any indications that I was a  Panda  in the past, that’s when I will strike back and claim false allegations of abuse, I will say they use to chain me to tree in the backyard, and that they always threw away my white and black crayons so I was unable to draw Panda images.

Hopefully, Matt Lauer  will interview me and use the same questions he used with  Dolezal, then I can use her famous line…”Matt, I do take exception to that because it’s a little more complex than me identifying as a Panda”

 And then when  Matt  asks me  “given the fallout would I make the same choices over again?”  That’s when I would stand up and say “Yes Matt, I would, I am a Panda Dammit!!”

So from now on please refer to me a  “Noble Panda,” if  Rachel Dolezal  can be black, and  Bruce Jenner  can be a woman and if Hillary  can be considered Honest and Trustworthy then by God I can be a Panda!

 God Bless America

 

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