So is 2015 going pretty slow for you? Maybe you started the year off with some new resolutions or goals you were going to accomplish this year, but now it’s almost June and let’s face it you really haven’t achieved anything. But no worries, you can finish off the second half of 2015 like a freaking Rockstar.
Okay so you wasted the first half, but lucky for you the coach is putting you back in to redeem yourself, so don’t let yourself, or your coach down. Make a vow right now to finish strong in ’15. Some of you may be asking how can you do this, how can I finish strong? Well, good thing you asked, because I have spent the better part of the last ten minutes coming up with a fool proof list of things you should accomplish in the last six months of this year, if you are up to the Challenge then perhaps you will indeed finish this year strong and proud.
The following is a list of the Amazing things I have come up with for you to do, I am Challenging you to be Bold, be Brave and most of all be Bad Ass!!
1. Pick a faraway city, let’s say Compton, Ca., now visit every gym in that city, then make a video of you lifting with your new found friends…I hear the Crypts and Bloods are fun to workout with.
2. Track down and Meet …Zach Galifianakis
3. Track down and Meet…Bruce Jenner (Pre-Op so hurry)
4. Track down and Meet any other obscure celebrity and tell them about your encounters with Zach Galifanakis and Bruce Jenner (Pre-Op).
5. Change your ﬁrst name to an action verb, then change it back in January 2016….This might drain your
bank account with all the legal paperwork, but just think about it, one day when your kids start giving
you grief for being old and lame, you can point to your days as an action verb.
6. Progressively thin your eyebrows until someone notices….Just a few hairs each week, then when the
first person who finally says “What the Hell?” you have to give them a reward worth the price of
keeping your secret.
7. Monopolize the jukebox at a local bar and play nothing but “Ice Ice Baby” by Vanilla Ice
This song sets such a great mood in any establishment on a Saturday night, Of course after hearing it
47 times in one stint, it will never be the same for anyone in that bar again. But it will be the best
“remember when” story they ever have.
8. Play an entire game of Monopoly, then burn the board and bury the game pieces, and never talk
about the incident again.
9. Pick up a Bavarian dialect….Note: There are three…choose wisely.
10. Gain 30 pounds, then lose 30 pounds…Like an actor getting ready for a new role. Put the weight on
through a gluttony of any number of gut-bombs (bacon cheeseburgers, chili dogs, pure mayonnaise,
etc.), then eat lean and work out like a crazy person. But make sure you take selfies throughout the
process to show your progress and disturb your friends.
11. Devote 5% of your taxable income to scratch-off lottery tickets…It just might be the closest thing you
can do to be “living with the homeless” without actually “living with the homeless.”
12. Like “An American In Montana” on Facebook…2015 is your year to be Gutsy!
13. When winter comes do a Polar Plunge…Most cold weather communities have this event. Some
place’s call it the Polar Bear Plunge or the Passion Plunge. But don’t worry, your heart shouldn’t stop
14. Consume everything on the Starbucks menu, even if it takes the rest of the year, and be sure to take
a selfie with each item…Even the bistro boxes.
15. Now this last one may be the toughest but well worth it, Pet a jungle cat….A Tiger, Lion, Panther,
Cheetah or Leopard. The risk of losing an extremity for the rush of petting the coat of a dangerous
predator is always worth it. (If it looks like you won’t be able to handle this challenge then I will allow
you to pet a really pissed off house cat, but you will be judged accordingly.)