Why My Life Should Be A Humorous Sitcom…

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It recently has come to my attention, that throughout most of my adult life, on occasion some mildly funny things have happened to me. I don’t want to sound like I’m full of myself, but once in a while people find me somewhat amusing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not funny like that guy who does those Old Spice commercials using his muscles…Now that’s funny. But once in a while I can come up with a pretty funny joke, and if I’m in a crowd of people and I let one of my jokes fly, it’s guaranteed to make at least 2.5 out of 7 people laugh, now I’m not good with Math but that’s like 50% of the people think I’m funny. So I think it’s high time I stop wasting this gift of Humor I have been given.

I have been giving it a lot of thought that last three hours and I’m almost positive the best way to showcase my gift of Humor is to have my own 30 minute sitcom. I am pretty confident my show would appeal to people who want something to watch for 30 minutes before the next program they have been waiting for comes on.

Since I want my show to be one of those reality/real life type sitcoms, sort of like  “Friends”  was, basically we will just have a camera crew follow me around and film me as I go about my day, I know I will probably need a laugh track for some of the dry spells that might happen, like when I’m taking a nap, or when I say something that sounds kind of predictable, to be honest I’m not quick on my feet so to say, so my comedic timing might be a little off for a while until I get the hang of it.

And I understand some parts of my life, like when I’m brushing my cat or when I’m on hold with the cable company, could use some more  “flair”. But that’s the great thing about having a sitcom, If it doesn’t hit, then it doesn’t hit, at least I tried.

I’m kind of toying with the idea of bringing someone in to play my wife, just to add some drama and have hostile character to play off of.  And I think the show will appeal more towards my intended target audience “Middle aged, married men, who are just one more argument with their wife away from driving their truck into a telephone pole”.

So I’m almost positive that a show based on my life would be totally adequate. Seriously, about a third of the time I step out of my door, something slightly comical usually happens. Like the time when I took my car in to get serviced, the mechanics kept finding more and more problems with it, and I ended up sitting in the waiting area for four hours, and to top it off, the garage’s vending machines ate my dollar without giving me my animal cookies. That’s got to be passable for wry observational humor, right?

Now, I’m trying to be realistic about this whole sitcom thing, I’m not saying that it will end up being some kind of three-season sensation, like Star Trek  or something. But I’m fairly confident that if the network ordered nine or so episodes, my life would have enough faintly engaging moments in it to keep viewers interested through the entire season. After which I would be a lock for a multi-year deal.

It shouldn’t be that hard to stretch things out. I really don’t socialize that much, and I don’t actually know many people. But I’ve got a neighbor that waves at me every time I go outside, and I pretty sure if I actually go over and talk to him, it might end up turning into a good story line for the show. And there is that guy at the gym who always tells me the same jokes and that could be a thing, I’ve thought up some good comebacks to his one-liners.

I was watching some re-runs of  “Three’s Company”  and they had a thing happen in a bowling alley. I bowl once in a while, not really my thing, but I’ve done it. So that’s something right there…Bowling …Bam!! There’s your episode three…I will go to a bowling alley, I’m sure hilarity will ensue.

Oh, and I haven’t even mentioned this other neighbor of mine, he lives three houses down from me. His name is Trey or maybe it’s Tray, he’s a black guy. He once told me he ran a club in his old neighborhood in Compton, I think they went around getting people to donate blood, because the club name was Blood’s, pretty weird huh? I didn’t know any of this until about two weeks ago. I think he wouldn’t mind being the “black guy neighbor”  on my show, that might even turn into a two-parter. Heck, he even mentioned being on TV before on an episode of America’s Most Wanted, not sure what he played but at least he won’t be shy around the camera.

Maybe America won’t fall in love with me, but I bet they will tolerate me for a few episodes if I have a good lead-in. Especially with a little help from an occasional special guest star, like Tara Reid  or Pamela Anderson, everyone likes to see them run around in bikini’s acting silly, I could make it a special  “Out at the lake”  episode where I somehow save one of them from drowning and have to give them CPR and mouth to mouth…Yeah, I think that might just be an Emmy right there.

One comment

  1. lgillum · April 5, 2015

    Haha! Great read; thanks for the laughs! I to am looking for someone to walk around and creepily stalk me and my family with a camera. Just wait until you have kids; it gets much more interesting.
    Honestly, I’m a little disappointed that no major producers have come across my blog and said, “SWEET JESUS! Go beat down this woman’s door and start filming!”
    When you figure it all out, let me know!

    Like

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