I like to consider myself pretty involved with what’s going on in our country, even the world at large, I am well aware of the dangers we face as a Nation. I know that we face threats from both inside and outside our borders that want to destroy our way of life. But I think we have too many “Sheep” in this country, People who just don’t see any threats, people who believe Christians are more to blame than Radical Islam. Or that Cops are all bad, and Republicans are evil. And that Obama is the Messiah…. I have gotten tired of arguing with these types of people so I’ve decided I’m going to join the “Sheep”, and graze in the pasture of ignorance.
So the way I understand how it works to be one of the “Sheep” is to realize the world can be a pretty cruel place sometimes, but instead of taking action or standing up for what’s right, with just a little imagination, determination and blinding denial we can just convince ourselves everything is just “Hunky Dory” and there is nothing to worry about.
Now I’ve only been acting like one of the “Sheep” for a few hours now, but I’m telling you, if you put your mind to it, you can make yourself believe just about anything…Hell, I already convinced myself that I have a full head of wavy brown hair…That reminds me, I will need to buy some styling gel tomorrow.
Listen, if you’re going to be like me and join the Flock, you can’t let little annoying things like Logic, Reason or even Reality stand in the way of what you want to be true. Your mind is the most powerful tool you have and if you use it correctly, you will be totally amazed at all the incredible things you can deny.
And because you’re now a “Sheep” you don’t have narrow your open denial of reality to just silly things like Politics, World Affairs, or Terrorism. You can keep your denial local too, like for instance if you get fired from your job tomorrow for gross incompetence and malfeasance…No, you didn’t. You left your job voluntarily and without incident, because it was stifling your creative juices. Another example, if your married and your spouse leaves you because your just a pathetic shell of a human who they used to love…Nope wrong again, In fact, you didn’t have a spouse, you were never married… so there.
See? Wasn’t that easy? And now you don’t have to go to bed at night with all those horrible “Truth Pangs”.
And remember as a member of the Flock no matter what happens, you must never throw in the towel. Everyone faces a difficult circumstances in their lives at some point , some people turn to drugs and alcohol as a way of “Escaping” their problems. Not us “Sheep”, we can just tell ourselves that our drug and alcohol use is totally under control, and that we can quit at any time, and that I don’t use cocaine and tequila as a means of escape but merely as a way of cutting loose after a long day of being neither lonely or unemployed.
Remember, it’s all in the way you look at things!
Now keep yourself prepared, because there are going to be a lot of wackos out there who are going to claim that what you’re trying to believe is impossible. They might even try to “help” you by pointing out how you’re destroying yourself through willful acts of self-delusion, and how your behavior is slowly eating away at the people who care about you the most in this world. Well, let me be the first to tell you that it’s not true. What they are saying is not happening. For example, we can trust Iran not to build Nukes, they have a proven track record of reliability, so don’t listen to anyone who says otherwise. And remember the Middle East is completely fine, It’s probably the most stable region on the map. Heck, we are even going on vacation next month in Syria. And most of all if they try to tell you Radical Islam is waging war against Christians and Jews just reply with the facts and those facts are that the owners of “Chick-Fil-A” are the real Terrorists.
So now my fellow “Sheep” let us join together and sing the song of our people...Ba Baaa Baaa Ba Baaa