I found myself in a very difficult and nearly deadly situation yesterday, I ran into someone I haven’t seen for a very long time, and there has been a very valid reason I haven’t seen him , It’s because I can’t stand him, he is a self-absorbed, arrogant, poop stain on the boxer shorts of society, type of guy. But I tried to be nice, so I took the time to briefly catch up and he clearly hasn’t changed, he let me know in great detail how fantastic his life is, how amazing his wife is, and all the cool stuff he now owns since the last time he told me all about the cool stuff he owned back then.
This encounter has lead me to start a new blog series called “People I Dislike More Than Getting Kicked In The Family Jewels”. In this new series it will allow me to vent about different type’s of behavior people exhibit that annoy me to the point that I would rather receive a swift kick to the family jewels then spend any amount of time with them, and my first entry in the series is the “Bragger”...so let me explain, as if I need to, why the Bragger make’s my list.
Frankly, people who Brag, just Suck! I think when someone goes on and on about themselves all they are really doing is making a fool out of themselves.
You have probably come across them, they have to tell you how much their clothing costs, women will tell you how much their purse collection cost them, and guys will tell you about their expensive suit or watch, even when you could care less and never even asked in the first place.
They will let you know that they went to the best schools, and had the best professors and made the best life choices.
If you go to their house, they will tell you about that special antique chair you’re sitting in, and remind you not to sit “too” hard in it because that chair is worth more than you. They will show you their watch, and point out that not everyone can afford a watch like this. And by the time you leave their house you will know all about their awesome chairs, jobs, clothing, family, even the amazing thread count on their Egyptian sheets. And if you happen to have an interesting story, don’t get any fancy ideas of finishing it because the Bragger has been everywhere you have been and did far more amazing things there then you.
All they are trying to do is impress the shit out of you. What they are really doing is providing you with a hilarious story that you can share with your friends, or maybe on your blog. Never forget this little gem of advice I’m going to give you, If your idea of impressing someone is by listing a price or dropping a brand name, then you probably have not actually done enough stuff worth bragging about.
So if you want to Brag about something to me, Brag about how you helped someone in need, or saved an animal from the shelter, now that would be something to brag about.