Yesterday I stopped into a gas station I don’t normally go to, but it was close to my friend’s house and he sent me a text to stop and get him a six pack of adult beverages…The nice woman at the counter actually said she needed to see my ID…This was something new for me, I don’t drink so I never buy alcohol so in turn I never get carded, and I am almost positive I look like a senior citizen, so I was kind of amused by the whole thing, I handed her my ID…She seemed to give it a hard once over, checking it out from different angles, eye-balling me quizzically, she handed it back saying that “I have one of those baby faces” I tried not to laugh at her…Me? Baby faced …Ha Ha
I thought she was just teasing me so I said if that’s a compliment I will take it. I never get embarrassed, but what happened next kind of went outside my comfort zone ..But she called for back-up, things then got awkward…But not for me.
She looked past me and said “Hey Amy, doesn’t he look like a baby face?” then she said turn around so Amy can see your face.
I make it a point to keep an open mind in my life and always be on the lookout for new adventures, it has been my experience that some of the best things occur when you least expect them…So I turned around and there was “Amy” a cute brunette that probably wasn’t a day over Twenty. She was squatting, stacking candy on the rack. This girl who seemed to be at a loss for words at the moment , I will take a wild guess by the looks of her that between “Likes” and “OMG’s” she is probably rarely wordless.
So I turned back to the cashier and she asked me how old I was…I’m 45 I said…The next word out of her mouth was “Bullshit”…she clearly is not one that is at a loss for words…She yelled to Amy…“Amy would you believe he is 45?”
Okay, In my opinion when you get asked a question like that and you find yourself in the spotlight, the correct approach is to answer in the extreme…She should have said something like “Oh gee whiz no I actually thought I had a class with him”. It is sort of like when old guys complain to me about Obama being a terrorist or something, I always respond by saying something like “Damn straight, he is in a sleeper cell just waiting to go off”…They get the answer they like and they are never quite sure if I’m serious or not.
So I glanced back at Amy, who now seemed to be a brighter shade of red, I could see the confusion in her eyes…If she said that I didn’t look younger than my actual age my feelings may get hurt, but if she did then that would clearly mean she wanted me to ask her out. She really had no way out…So she kept quiet, she stuttered something and stared at a Kit-Kat, probably hoping that Obama would rush in yelling “Aloha Snackbars” and blow the place up.
So I ended this mess by saying “I guess all the gym time helps” I grabbed that damn six pack and I may or may not have winked at Amy as I walked away.
The cashier yelled out “Have a good one baby face” as I got out of there.
Once I got back to my car, I took a moment to replay that whole scenario in my head again…I had to laugh.