Signs That You’re Getting Old(er)….

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Signs That You’re Getting Old(er)…

 

~You watch the Weather Channel

~You hear your favorite song in the elevator

~5am is when you get up, not go to bed

~Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them

~Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question

~You keep more food than beer in the fridge

~You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore

~You’re the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won’t turn the music down.

~Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt

~Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up

~You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers

~Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you

~Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “Dressed Up”

~Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one

~Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up

~You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14

~Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3am would severely upset, rather than settle your stomach.

~You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and Antacid, instead of condoms and pregnancy tests.

~A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good stuff”

~You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time

~”I just can’t drink the way I use to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again”

~90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work

~You no longer drink at home to save money before going to a bar

~And you read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that it doesn’t apply to YOU!

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