*This dedicated to my friend Charity…After today your gym bag should contain a roll of duct tape.
Duct Tape is probably one of the top ten greatest inventions that mankind has ever created and if it’s not on that list then there is truly something wrong with this world
If you ask most men they will tell you how great Duct Tape is and list 50 examples of why everyone should own a roll. But I notice that women seem less excited about it and that is a shame, that tells me that women struggle more than they need to when it comes to everyday living…For example ladies, If you’re going out for a run and your typical sports bra just doesn’t give you the support you need… Wrap the twins in Duct Tape…problem solved. It will also making you run faster, don’t ask me why it just will.
I’ve read countless articles about all the many uses of this miracle product, but I haven’t seen enough regarding its use in the Health and Fitness fields for women, so I have compiled a list of some of the best uses for Duct Tape for the ladies in the gym and beyond.
In The Gym…
~If you can’t find any lightweight free weights, just hold a large roll of Duct Tape out to your side and keep holding it there until you no longer can, then repeat with the other arm.
~If you’re working out on the heavy bag and you need to work on your accuracy, get your Duct Tape out and tape little squares on the bag to use as targets…Happy faces work well too.
~You wanna do Sandbag training but don’t have any in the gym you’re in? Use your Duct Tape to fashion a sandbag out of it, throw in some light 5lb weights and presto you have a DIY Ductbag (and when you’re done training just cut the top off and remove the weights, add two straps of Duct Tape and you have a functional and fashionable backpack to carry your gear home in)
~Are your muscles sore after the workout and you can’t find a foam roller? Just use your handy roll of Duct Tape as a makeshift roller, it’s guaranteed to get the aches out.
~Getting tired of misplacing your water bottle? Just Duct Tape it to your arm, same thing with your Ipod, Phone, Keys…Never lose your personal items again.
~Wanna take a gym selfie but can’t find the perfect place to prop-up your phone? Just Duct Tape it to the wall for that perfect gym selfie…Never face ridicule again for having a crappy selfie.
~You have your ear buds in but your still getting chatted up by that creepy dude, just ask him to “show” you how to bench press, then Duct Tape him to the bench, be sure to cover his mouth as well, this trick is guaranteed to teach him a lesson, he won’t be creeping on you again…Just be sure to cut him free before you leave.
~Do your shoelaces keep coming untied while your training? Forget shoes..Just wrapped your feet in Duct Tape, not only will it look great but you won’t be slowed down by having to tie your shoe every ten minutes.
~Are you doing circuit training but people keep using your machines? just apply Duct Tape around the machines, think of it as crime scene tape for the gym…you can rope the machines off from unwanted users.
~Are you in Beast Mode, doing some heavy weight training and you accidentally break a finger? No need to quit training, just wrap that weak ass finger in Duct Tape it will be as good as new then.
~Did you get to the gym and notice you forgot your sweat band? No worries just wrap a few feet of Duct Tape around your head. Not only will you not get any sweat in your eyes but you won’t have to worry about having a “bad hair” day at the gym either..You will be the envy of all your peers with this highly fashionable head gear.
In Your Everyday Life…
~Let’s say you start a new hobby like…. Bank Robbery… Duct Tape will be perfect for keeping people quiet, and it will show you are no amateur.
~You have butt crack issues… Hey, nobody likes “plumbers butt” you can use Duct Tape to cover that nastiness up, if you get creative you can make a fashionable “Duct Thong” for an even classier backside.
~Your kid gets a Boo Boo, just wrap the injured area with Duct Tape, no band aids needed and if the kid won’t stop crying, just add some tape across the mouth, Your kid will calm down fairly quickly.
~Need to get some cleaning done around the house but the kids and pets won’t leave you alone? Just simply Duct Tape them to the wall…. Problem solved and who knows maybe you will probably get you on an episode of Jerry Springer.
~Are you trying to haul stuff in your car but the boxes are too big? You don’t need a luggage rack when you have Duct Tape, just tape those puppies down and feel the need for speed with complete confidence that your valuables are secure.
~Do you have flying insects in your trailer home? Just hang a few strips of Duct Tape from the ceiling and around the windows and doors, those pesky little critters will never bother you again.
~Can’t afford a new case for your Iphone, nothing looks better than silver, just wrap your phone in Duct Tape and you will never have to worry about it getting damaged or stolen, plus you will never get your phone mixed up with anyone else’s again.
~Have trouble fitting in that new dress or pant suit? Duct Tape makes the perfect girdle, the tighter you wrap it the smaller the dress you can wear, if you’re having trouble breathing…Just remember short… Deep breaths
~Having trouble staying focused at work? Just Duct Tape that mouse to your hand and you will be forced to sit there and do your work…Pain is an excellent motivator.
Well these are just a few limitless uses of Duct Tape, and ladies Duct Tape comes in a whole rainbow of colors so you can always color coordinate your tape with your outfit. There is almost nothing that a little Duct Tape can’t fix, so be prepared ladies and always carry a roll of this miracle tape in your purse. Trust me you will be happy you did.