Since I had fun researching and playing around with Valentine’s Day ideas and hearing all the funny feedback people were sending me, I thought this magical holiday of Love needed to be addressed some more.
Being Happily Single during this time of year does have its advantages, but it also has a few disadvantages as well. If your just totally over the whole “Love Is In The Air” nonsense seeing everyone all “coupled up”, and watching them feed each other champagne-infused chocolate covered strawberries and kissing atop a fluffy pink heart-shaped cloud is enough to make your stomach hurt. (Okay that description was a bit over the top but. Whatever)
Let me tell you something that happened to me the other day, I was walking in the downtown walking mall area of our small town, when two hand-holding lovebirds came walking towards me, I could tell they were in an endorphin induced trance and didn’t seem to notice as they pushed me off the sidewalk with their disgusting oversized teddy bear the female was carrying, which obviously the guy gave her probably to compensate for a small… Err…Lack of imagination let’s say, but he couldn’t have seen anything anyways because he was blinded by the balloon bouquet he was holding. I nearly died, I could have been hit by a cement truck or a street sweeper. Luckily tragedy was adverted and I was able to continue on my journey unmolested.
I can tell you right now, if I see anymore “lovebirds” walking towards me with balloons…all your gonna hear is Pop..Pop..Pop..You have been warned, keep your balloons out of my personal bubble.
Normally I don’t mind hearing about people’s excitement regarding their special Valentine’s Day rituals, like what restaurant they will be dining at, or what their favorite flower is, and why princess cut is far superior to all other diamond cuts..etc. But this year I really don’t have time to waste hearing this garbage, I am way to busy planning and prepping for my first annual “Single Cat Owner’s Outdoor Passion Party”, or SCOOPP for short (Trademark Pending) it will be a weekend full of tomfoolery and since I am the self-appointed Entertainment Director I have way too much to do to prepare for the event.
So to minimize any unnecessary conversation’s which may be veering toward the Valentine’s Day topic, I intend on immediately interjecting some fun facts I have collected regarding Valentine’s Day that way I can shut down the conversation and get back to planning for my SCOOPP event.
So if you too find yourself in an awkward Valentine’s Day conversation that you would like to cut short, feel free to use any of these fun V-Day Facts….
~ The Christian martyr Saint Valentine was beheaded on Feb. 14th for performing marriages in secret.
~”Love”, in the sense of “no score” in tennis terminology dates back to 1792 and means “playing for love” or, in other words, playing for nothing.
~Candy hearts are made with sidewalk chalk.
~Valentine’s Day traces its roots to an ancient pagan holiday called Lupercalia, in which the men would strip naked and ran around whipping young women with goatskin thongs in hopes of increasing their fertility.
~When someone looks at a new love, the neural circuits that are usually associated with social judgment are suppressed. (Well, that explains a few of my bad choices)
~Research suggests that 75 percent of suicide attempts are attributable to relationship problems.
~Seminal fluid can potentially contribute to romantic love. Reports suggest that the liquid that surrounds the sperm contains Dopamine (the pleasure chemical) and Norepinephrine as well as Tyrosine, an amino acid the brain needs to manufacture Dopamine. (So…Always use protection)
~The first Valentine’s Day card was sent by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London. He remained a prisoner of war for the next 24 years.
~Bad News: 15 percent of US women send flowers to themselves on V-Day.
~More pregnancy tests are sold in March than in any other month.
~When a man holds a baby, his testosterone level drops.
~The famous St. Valentine’s Day Massacre, in which seven Chicago gangsters were gunned down on Feb. 14th, was one of the bloodiest in mob history.
~Some psychologists argue that we fall in love with someone who is similar to the parent with whom we have unresolved childhood issues, unaware we are seeking to resolve this childhood relationship in adulthood.
~64 percent of American men do not make Valentine’s Day plans in advance.
Alright..Have a happy Valentine’s Day!