Alright you see this cat? This is my cat, sure to some she might look cute and cuddly, perhaps even harmless to the untrained eye. But Ms.Kitty could possibly be pure evil. Either that or she is just too dumb to know any better (right now she is laying on my bed staring at me as I am typing..Watching..Always Watching.)
This afternoon was a pretty glorious day here in Helena, Montana. So I decided to do some sandbag training in my yard, it felt good to be able to do some work outside without being bundled up like I was going on an Arctic Expedition. Well, after a while when I went inside to grab a drink, Ms.Kitty used her kitty ninja skills to slip out the door before I could stop her, I usually never let her go outside just for fear of something bad might happen and I have no desire to explain that to my kids.
So I immediately took off after her, even though she is morbidly obese and usually runs no further than five feet without laying down for a nap, But this day, she seemed to channel the spirit of a Cheetah and quickly got out of sight.
I spent the better part of a half-hour looking for her , then spotted her fat ass under my front porch, where she was perfectly content just lying there in old cob webs and what appeared to be Skittles, So after a few moments of me begging her to come out on her own, I made the decision to end this stand-off, so I got down on the ground and began crawling under the porch to grab her and with any luck end this situation peacefully.
Mind you that I’m 6’6″ and 300lbs, it was a very tight squeeze for me under the porch, Ms.Kitty saw the trouble I was having trying to slide my way across the field of what I believed to be rat poo (I’m sure it was probably just dirt but I felt like the situation called for me to go worst case scenario) and she did her best to move back even further as if it taunt me.
Well when I was able to finally reach her, and after her best effort to escape my grasp I began trying to reverse my course which was now even harder due to the fact I was holding on to a 30 lb. obese, angry cat. As I almost got to the end of this what shall forever more be known as “The Crawl Of Tears” I managed to get impaled in my shoulder by a large nail. It literally stopped me in my tracks unable to move until I pulled myself off the nail.
I guess I should look at the bright side, I could have lost an eye or a testicle (worst case scenario thinking) but I did manage to get my cat back safely inside the house and I know I have suffered worse injuries but still it was certainly not how I wanted to end what was an otherwise terrific sandbag training session.
So the original intent of this post was supposed to be to encourage people to get outside on nice days like this and do training that you normally wouldn’t be able to do during the winter months. It is a great way to mix it up and have some fun as well. But I never counted on Ms.Kitty escaping and me foolishly chasing after her, guess she just wanted to enjoy some outside time as well.
Have a Kick Ass Day!!