I Need A Vacation…


I Need A Vacation..

This morning I’m sitting here..cold..afraid to go outside because it’s cold..so basically in order to leave my house to go to the gym, I have to wear ten layers of clothing just to go warm my car up..(Need to invest in a automatic car starter thingy)..Then wait 20 minutes for the car to warm up enough to be bearable..Oh I hate winter!! So as I wait for the car to warm up I will sit here on the toilet thinking of all the fun things I will do once summer rolls around..A vacation will be needed, somewhere warm and fun..probably Vegas, and of course the best part of getting away for a vacation in a warm place like Vegas is doing all the things that are socially unacceptable for Manly Men when we are living in our hometowns ..

We can drink Tropical Drinks (virgin of course)
When you’re in your hometown, ordering a drink that the bartender must blend..and then garnish with a strawberry, and then garnish with an umbrella, and then garnish with a curly straw .. is not exactly going to win you much respect…But when you’re on vacation you are free to order any un-manly concoction you desire, Hell if I wanted to drink a virgin Pina-colada right out of a coconut while strolling down the Vegas strip I could do it with no shame !

We can post shirtless pics online..
Now even I think it’s lame for dudes to post bare-chested selfies to facebook during the winter..I don’t care of ripped someone is..that reflection in the mirror is meant for you not your co-workers or church members..or even your mommy. But when you’re on vacation it’s fair game..it’s a bare chested free for all in my books, show that hard won body off..If I wanted I would take bare chested selfies while playing the slots..You’re on vacation right? There should be no social stigma attached.

Note: Your friends and family are still obligated to make fun of you and your asymmetrical nipples…Just remember they’re merely jealous..Because they are back in your hometown having to follow the normal social guidelines.

As much as I hate them I could even wear Flip Flops…

Sure they are comfortable and all that, easy to slip on..But when you’re in your hometown (especially the frozen tundra where I live in) they just look dumb, un-stylish ..I will admit I judge men who wear sandals as a daily wear item any footwear that consists of a sole and a strap is not Manly in my books.. But while on vacation, hanging by the pool..Hell Yeah, I even enjoy hearing that “flip flop sound” echoing down the hallway in the casino …to me that sound sounds like Freedom!!

I could stare at boobs with zero subtlety…

Back home, living the day to day grind, you need to avoid looking like a creeper, you just don’t stare at women’s breasts..It makes you look bad and surely won’t win you many points with the ladies..But when you’re on vacation hanging out at the pool or anywhere in Vegas really..everyone is showing off their goods..so there is a little more leeway to appreciate the scenery..With any luck your being checked out as well..Be sure to wear sunglasses..it is just a little classier that way..

I guess my car is warm now…out to the bitter cold I go.

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