BAM…2015

5gerg

 

 

Bam.. It’s 2015

So…Men, Do you want to make some positive changes this year? If so get a sharpie and take this simple survey: (circle the answers on your screen)
Are you tired of women thinking you’re a douchebag? Yes No 
Are you afraid to walk down the street at night, alone? Yes No 
Are you a prolific self-pleasurer? And don’t know how to get a date? Yes No 
Did you actually use a sharpie on your computer screen? Yes No

Anyways here are five scientifically proven ways to improve yourself and maybe, if you’re lucky even get women to notice you..and what guy doesn’t want that, so make 2015 the year of you , a better more confident you…

Stand up for yourself..
Woman like a man that doesn’t back down from confrontation easily..it’s like some weird instinct that goes back to the times we lived in caves and if you were man enough to fight off a saber-toothed tiger or T-rex then the women felt the chances of their survival improved by hanging out with you (Note: I’m aware science says humans weren’t around the same time as T-rex’s but it sounds better for the story, besides were you there? so you can’t prove it so shut your Dorito filled mouth)
In modern times, when you stick your chest out and show you’re not scared of (for lack of a better term) a bully, it turns girls on. Now there is an opposing theory to this that if you stand up for yourself it would somehow turn a girl off because your “losing your cool”..I for one don’t need to prove anything to anyone, so I don’t start fights or even look for them…But if your put into a situation where you have no choice but stand up for yourself..DO IT!! Even if you got your ass kicked, which happens, everyone is just one ass-kicking away from being humbled, but that is nothing compared to living in fear, or being down on yourself, feeling shame for not defending yourself.
Just remember nobody likes an instigator or that dude who ruins the entire night by being overly-aggressive..That will not win you any points with the ladies.

Getting fresh haircuts…

Men of the 21st Century have become obsessed with over grooming, but all you really need is a good ol’fashioned haircut.
I myself don’t have hair..so I shave my head every day, the point is just take care of yourself, first impressions are important, now I don’t believe in the whole metro-sexual level of grooming and primping but let’s face it women aren’t into homeless looking guys..at least the last time I checked the dude in the park living in the Kenmore box wasn’t with some hot chick.
Again, this is a caveman response. If you’re groomed, you’re clean, you’re healthy and therefor you’re good breeding stock. It’s that simple.

Drink Water instead of Alcohol…

Yes, I know this one will probably meet the most resistance, and not sound very manly..But drinking Water is the most Manly of Man drinks, it also goes back to the caveman times..And let’s face it, people drink in social situations because it takes away their social awkwardness, it makes them funnier, the life of the party right? But..really let’s face it, usually the boozes just result in bad choices, fights, break-ups, bad hook-ups, drunk driving, death, un-planned babies, mini-vans, poor food choices (Taco Bell) and your just giving a boozed up version of yourself to others..So drink water, work on your social skills to be funny, witty, charming, the life of the party without needing the boozes..Now if that isn’t manly then I don’t know what is..

Dress like a Man…

Again, women are going to immediately judge you based on your appearance. It’s a hard truth, so dressing your age is important. If you’re my age and your still dressing like a teenager, in clothes that don’t fit or are branded with dozens of giant logo’s…Stop, give the clothes to your kid and start dressing your age!
Now one of my problems I always dress in athletic clothing, so my goal for 2015 is to wear more manly adult clothing, I have a really..really hard time finding clothing that fits me..too tall too big..But dressing nicely pays off, so here’s to looking sharp in 15!

Ambition and Self Improvement..
.
You should always be trying to do better, be better, chase your dreams and get more out of life. No matter what. No compromises.
But as a bonus, having big dreams, goals and vision for your life, is incredibly sexually attractive to women. (I asked a woman)
Now, here’s the catch… You have to actually go after all those things you talk about…So if you tell a lady you’re going to do something…Do It..follow through is important, otherwise keep your trap shut, don’t always be blurting out grand ideas without thinking your shit out..you can keep your thoughts in your head..try it, it’s not that hard.

Good Luck in 2015…Don’t forget to Exercise!!

 

 

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